Six things I learned in May

Today, I'm joining other writers over at Chatting at the Sky to share what we learned in May. This is a link up started by Emily Freeman several months ago so we can share the fascinating, ridiculous, sacred or small.

1. I'm going to give up on negative loyalty. A virtue that I used to think was all good and not bad, has me twisted up in the game. By personality, I am a very loyal person. This is great when it comes to relationships in my life that are healthy, and beliefs and values that serve me well.

However, this characteristic of loyalty that I possess is not good when it comes to outdated beliefs I’ve held onto, or to ideas and people that no longer serve me. Mostly, I am talking about things like:

dogmatism (Webster: a viewpoint based on insufficiently examined premises. There.)

unforgiveness

guilt

fears

I need and want to embrace the fact that I can change outdated beliefs and ideas that no longer serve me well. To give up on negative loyalty.

2.  I still struggle with self-confidence. I took a seminar this month that in it's very nature is still helping me to grow in this. It may be a life long growth process. But, I am excited that I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel in this area! Woo!

3. Looking into downsizing our dwelling is a lot more challenging than I thought it would be. Even though I need to purge more of my possessions, this is not what I am talking about.

What I realized in starting to look at smaller homes, in a much lower price range, is that my husband and I have had to have many more discussions about priorities than I expected. 

Surprise? 

I thought if I found a house I liked in the price range that we agreed on, that he might just willingly comply with my wishes and discount his! 

Why did I think this?

Hmm. I was wrong. On two occasions. I have had to let go of expectations, and become more open minded. This was a surprise to me. (really?) 

After being married to this man for almost thirty years. 

Kevin and Anne as newlyweds

This just reminds me that no matter how long you are married, healthy communication will always trump assuming!!

4. My daughter and I started watching The Paradise TV series together on DVD. The series begins in 1875, and is about a young woman who goes to stay with her uncle in Northeast England, but also needs a job. She gets a job at a department store called The Paradise, where only single women are permitted to have jobs. And, they are required to live there.

It’s full of drama with all the young women employees living and working together and fighting over the owner, Mr. Moray, who happens to be a widower and is quite handsome. Check it out, if you like period shows! We’ve already established which characters are atrocious and which ones we like. 

5. Yesterday, I made a birthday cake for my son's twenty fourth birthday. I eat gluten free, but I made him a "glutenous" cake (as my family puts it.) I found that I didn't feel deprived one bit by making myself a root beer float instead of having a piece of cake! Yup! 

hubby and I lighting the candles spelling out "24"

6. It seems I spent a lot of the month of May trying to learn (with my doc) how to get more sleep! So, lots of things learned in the “taking care of me” department this month! Here’s to a very fruitful, sleep-filled June filled with teachable moments!

Thanks for stopping!! :)

how you can slap the bull and come out alive

Last night, right there in the downtown skywalks, my husband 'slapped the bull' by singing out loud. And he was very proud of himself,too.

 A few years ago a movie came out called Wild Hogs. One hilarious experience after another happens on this reclaiming-their-youth trip with John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen and William H. Macey as they traverse the pavement through the country.

 At one stop, they are at a ranch standing at the corral. The rancher tells them that to prove their manly strength and prowess, they should go into the bull pen and slap the bull on the rear end and then try to high tail it out of the corral before the bull can trample them. Sounds like great fun, right?

The guys look at each other and shake their heads. No way are they going into the bull pen and slapping the bull on the behind! I won't give away the rest of the story, but lets just say that a couple of the guys try it with hilarious results. For them, slapping the bull symbolized doing something wild and crazy. Something that they wouldn't ordinarily do. Something that might be fun, but it also might be a bit risky. (for us, singing in the skywalks is a little risky...)

Us on our Minnesota vacation

For some reason the term "slap the bull" has stuck with my husband and me since we watched that silly movie. Now, we are not huge risk takers. For some of you 'slapping the bull' might be rock climbing in the Rockies or jumping out of an airplane.

For my husband last night, slapping the bull was to sing the Iowa State fight song loud in the skywalks while we were on our walk. It was after hours when most people were home eating dinner so this wasn't too risky. Except for the one man who was walking towards us. After the guy passed us I chided my hubby for being loud in the skywalks. He quickly reminded me that he had just slapped the bull, and wasn't I impressed that he slapped the bull right there in the skywalks? In front of one guy? Okay, underneath my eye-rolling, I was secretly happy that he had slapped the bull in front of that one guy.

No matter the number on the level-of-risk meter, the point is we have this silly little thing. This kind of not-so-inside anymore inside joke between us. 

It's really just an ordinary Tuesday, but tonight we're headed to a bluegrass musical Christmas show. That bull is really gonna be hurtin'.

A Prayer for Marriage

Yesterday marked our twenty eighth year of marriage. July 28, 2012. As I was spending time with God and my journal in the morning, this prayer came out of my heart and onto my journal's pages. By recording it here, it's my hope that maybe some of you might be encouraged to seek God's strength and will for your marriage. Our marriage has entered a new season. Empty nest. Our purpose of raising our children is now finished and we look forward to a new season of growing friendships with our adult children. If it weren't for God's help, guidance and love, our marriage would not be what it is today. It is only by His grace that we have life, have love and can have hope for a future of fruitfulness for Him.

Lord, you have brought us through fire and water to the place we are now. (Psalm 66:12) Thank you for the healing you have brought us individually and as a couple. Thanks that you've given us so many blessings we don't deserve. Wonderful young adult children, and a family that is expanding to add now a daughter-in-law. You've given us good health, sound minds, and a vision for our future. We both want to live lives of significance and purpose, Lord. I know that because of what you did for us on the cross, we already have that. (John 14:6)

I ask in Jesus' Name and by His blood that You would release us into the next season in our lives. I believe Your plans for us are very great. Plans for welfare, and not for calamity. A plan to give us hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Thank you that you are in ultimate control, even though we long to be. Thanks that you see all things from beginning to end. You are outside our space and time continuum. I ask you, Lord, from your vantage point, to fulfill Your will in our lives. Cause us to be fruitful and content wherever we are, Father!


Help us to use our gifts and talents for you. Help us not to judge others for what they have, and what we think we don't have. Help us to have an eternal impact on our children, future grand children, friends, family and the world around us. That's what we both want. Lord, only what we do for you will last.

Unify us, Lord, for it is only in unity that we have strength, power and influence for your Kingdom.  Make us quick to forgive each other and others. Give us understanding of each other and patience in our weaknesses and faults.(Colossians 3:14)

Protect our marriage from ungodly and evil influences, Lord. Protect us from Satan's schemes and keep us both on the narrow path, Lord. It is only by keeping to the narrow path of your ways and your will that we find life. Life in all of it's fullness. (Matthew 7:13-14)

Help us to remember what is truly and really important, Lord. Not the externals, but the internals of humility, integrity, love, honor and holiness. Give us both a hunger and thirst for righteousness. And, as we seek righteousness in you, lead us into your peace and joy. Lord, you promise us joy in following you and your ways. I receive that joy, Lord! I receive your peace on behalf of both of us and our family!(Romans 14:17)

Bless us today, Father, and every day. Bring us into even greater areas of influence for you, Lord. Fulfill your plans and your vision for our marriage. May your kingdom come and your will be done in us, and in our family. In Jesus' precious Name and by His Blood. Amen.

A scripture verse that I've leaned on so much through the years is Psalm 37:4-7a. It says,

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass. Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him."