what I'm doing with imperfection

This is me. With the thirty or so pounds I wanted to lose before going on a big European vacation. Instead, they're coming with me.

With the uncertainty about how I'll sleep, or get on with being gluten free in Germany, Denmark, France and England.

Yep, this is me. 

I have only one choice here with this disappointment that I didn't meet the goal that I wanted to. 

One choice in being gluten free in Europe.

My one choice is acceptance.

Acceptance of my imperfection. And, thankful for the gifts of imperfection, really. 

Because it makes me more aware that just because I'm going to Germany and Denmark on a business trip with my husband, and then ending up in England to see my daughter (after six months of her being there on a Gap Year project), this trip will not be perfect, because nothing in life is perfect! 

So, I have my imperfect self to thank for reminding me of this. 
For reminding me to accept myself in all of my imperfection. (no bikini body here. No going into any restaurant I want and ordering anything I want.)

Instead, learning the word for "gluten free" in three foreign languages and being ready with it on a piece of paper (or my cell phone) to hold up when we go out for dinner. My dear husband's suggestion. 

Oh, so romantic! Dinner at a sidewalk cafe in Paris, and I get out my little piece of paper with the French word for "gluten free" on it. 

It is what it is. 

And, I choose to accept it, because I choose to accept ME. 

So, here's to a three week European vacation with my sweetheart including joining up with two of our grown kids. 

Here's to me loving myself in all of my imperfections and enjoying each and every moment this holiday has to offer me.

Here's to staring at the Eiffel Tower all lit up at night. Here's to holding my husband's hand as we go for a walk in Denmark. Here's to us driving to Wartburg Castle in Germany and laughing in the car because we can't read road signs.

Here's to having that little piece of paper and my courage and acceptance ready at all times. 

Here's to me. Here's to us.

Here's to all blessings that will unfold in each moment. 



Thanks for stopping by today, friends!!

Blessings, 

Anne

Linking up today with others at Coffee For Your Heart.

Expectations for Christmas

For years of my life (maybe all of them) I've had pretty heavy expectations for Christmas. When I was growing up, I had a dad and step-mom and a mom and step-dad and to me that always meant more presents for Christmas. Is this what set me up as an adult? 

My expectations, especially at this present-y time of year that is also holy, have gotten me into so many pickles.

I want, I want, I want.

CHRISTMAS PAST

When my kids were small, I want them to look perfect in the Christmas card photo. I don't want my baby girl tipping over. I don't want my boys to be smirking funny, or their shirts to be wrinkled.

I want my family Christmas letter to be newsy, but funny and definitely clever. I want the people who receive my letter to remember it as being so clever that they want to pull it out in July just to review all the cleverness I said in December. (what??)

I want the tree to look perfect, so I don't really let the kids help me decorate it. I don't want all the ornaments bunched up in the same general area on the tree. I want them spaced just so. Magazine shoot worthy. Who am I kidding?

I don't really expect too much, do I?

CHRISTMAS FUTURE

I like new. I like change, if it's good change. So, I dream of new in the future. This can be good, but it can also be bad. It can be bad if my expectations are misplaced and if my current and future happiness depends on these supposed new things. I know this. At least I'm aware.

CHRISTMAS PRESENT

See, it can be really tricky. Read other blogs for creative inspiration, and end up swirling in a comparison sink hole of my own making. 

Compare my non-existent Christmas baking to others' bountiful culinary delights. 

What gifts are others giving and how much?

It is all too much to carry.

And the main ingredient for this is my misplaced expectation. 

The expectation that I should be a better decorator, my house should be cleaner and bigger. I should be more crafty and artistic. A perfect writer, a perfect creator. 

The expectation that my loved ones can meet every one of my needs perfectly.

And, it's not and I'm not. And, they can't.

So, what's a girl to do with all these expectations?

What will bring me true and lasting satisfaction and contentment?


Because, I believe my expectations are speaking to me of this.

What I believe is that I will only be satisfied with the goodness of God. 

A friend quoted this on Facebook:

"Christmas is not about fulfilling our holiday expectations. It's about celebrating Jesus' overwhelming accomplishment for us and following in His humble servant footsteps." ~~from Desiring God

This same person said,

"I have often said the key to happiness is to lower your expectations, but it is really about trusting and resting in His love, power, and goodness."

Amen.

Yes, trusting.

In His goodness.

And, that the all-gracious King that I sing about is standing beside me with open arms waiting to lavish His love, power and goodness on me. 

Again, where do I turn?

In what do I place my trust, my expectation?

"My people will be satisfied with My goodness, says the Lord."

~Jeremiah 31:14b

"For He satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with good."

~Ps. 107:9

Here is the truth that I long to live out.



Linking up today with Emily Freeman at Chatting at the Sky for Tuesdays Unwrapped. 

My vintage-y Christmas Home Tour 2013

I'm usually dragging my feet at Thanksgiving to get out the boxes. Once I start, though, I get into decorating so much that I want to do a bunch of crafty projects in the two week time frame that I have left before Christmas. 

Does this happen to anyone else?

This year I made one pom pom. 

The one on the mantel.

I also rewrapped the little brown paper bag covered gifts in Santa's Tonka. 

That's it, folks, and if I hope to get out the Christmas cards before Christmas, my dreams of having a finished pom pom wreath might have to wait till January. 

I'm linking up with The Nester for the It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful Christmas Home Tour link up. 

My Christmas decor is made up from years of thrifting and antiquing. 

Sorry, I wanted to make some of these pictures larger to show details and they kind of spill out of the space. 

Here is my Vintage-y Christmas Tour 2013!

Santa's Tonka Express

A favorite Christmas angel

Bird cage lighted forest

Our family room

The five minute Christmas Tree

Primitive hutch

BE Merry!

Mr. Horse is from the barn at my childhood home--dressed up for Christmas

I made the book page wreath last year and it stayed up all year! The white leaves on the branches are duct tape leaves I learned from The Nester last year!

Vintage and new Swedish Christmas cards

Santa Hangout includes a vintage Swedish Jultomten 

Merry Merry Christmas to all of you! Thanks for stopping by!

Blessings, 

Anne

10 Things I learned in November

It's so easy to get into the habit of not writing regularly after writing for a whole month straight in October. So, I'm thankful for Emily Freeman's link up for sharing the things we learned during the month of November! 

Here are a few things I've learned in the past month in random order. I invite you to hop on over to Emily's blog, Chatting at the Sky, to read what other people learned in November!

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1.  Frozen might be rivaling Tangled and Wall-e for my favorite animated film. Even though my kids are now adults, we all still love animated movies, so our whole family went to see Frozen for our annual Thanksgiving movie tradition. This movie is over-the-top cute. You should go see it, whether you are two or ninety two.

2. As one of the lead characters in Frozen, Kristen Bell has a great singing voice! I loved her in You, Again, but I didn't know she could sing. Which isn't saying a lot because I don't really keep up with which celebrities can and cannot sing. 

3. I read an article last week while on the elliptical about weight loss tips from a gal who lost 100 lbs. (is this ironic, or just coincidental that I was reading about weight loss while on an elliptical? I'll have to ask my daughter.) Anyway.....the tip that stood out to me was to focus on my strengths while on my fitness journey.

I decided that I'd rather lift weights mostly on machines in a different part of the gym instead of with dumbbells right near all the Arnold Schwartzeneggers. I was much more comfortable doing the machines. A small change, really, but the impact was huge for my mood while lifting.

4. Gratitude is best when practiced. What I mean is that often I think about being grateful when something good is happening. Brene Brown and Oprah reminded me in last week's online class that gratitude is a practice that we learn by doing. 

We learn by being grateful even when we don't feel like being grateful. 

Oprah says, Gratitude leads to joy. Brene says, Joy is additive. When we practice gratitude we fill our joy reserves. This is not huge information, but it felt like a mental shift happened in my brain. I dragged out the gratitude journal that I started in 2012 and began adding to it again at about #436. I felt so much better about my life after practicing gratitude in this way. 

5. There was a day about two weeks ago, that I felt absolutely stuck with an issue in my life. Prayer wasn't cutting it. Journaling didn't really help all that much. What I needed to do was to phone a friend. So, I did. (sometimes I'm reluctant) I called a friend and basically said "help." She did. She listened and she understood because she'd been in my shoes. Never under estimate the power of phoning a friend when you need help! I'm still learning this.


6. Through this Brene Brown online class I've been given assignments to work on an art journal. I've journaled prayers and thoughts and feelings for years. What I've never done until November was to work on an art journal. I'm kind of intimidated by it. Meaning that I suffer from a huge case of perfectionism. 


But, I'm realizing that being perfect is overrated, not to mention impossible! Actually getting my hands in there and being creative is the idea. And, I've noticed that when I work on my art journal (simple water color painting and drawing) my mood always elevates. Bonus!

7. I had been feeling especially bad about myself and my weight because of the category the trainer at the gym put me in after he weighed me. But, when I went to Maurice's to try on jeans, Taylor the jeans specialist was there. She was truly a jeans artist (and an angel). She said she had read and studied up on their jeans and which styles fit which body types. 

She brought me a pair of sparkly pocket jeans in the dressing room and said,

"Have you seen the traveling pants movie? Well, these jeans are just like that. Everyone who tries them on loves them! They are my go-to jeans!" 

I left with those jeans. And, I left feeling so uplifted by Taylor's care and encouragement in helping me find jeans that made me feel like a new woman! Jeans faeries really do exist! This one's name is Taylor.

8. On the same jeans shopping trip, I asked my college daughter if I was too old for sparkly pocket jeans. She said, "Not if you like them!" So, I guess fifty is not too old for sparkly pocket jeans because that's exactly what I got.

9.  I've discovered that I can get into a creative flow in my art journal or writing while listening to Jim Brickman radio station on Pandora. I've also discovered Anthony Burger so I added Anthony's piano loveliness as variety to this station. Today, I appropriately switched over to Jim Brickman Holiday station, which is working just as well. I love lovely piano music. Without lyrics. And, apparently it likes me.

10. Favorite quotes written in my journal this month. 

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." ~Rumi

"When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings."~Dean Jackson

Each of these quotes deserve their own blog post, so you never know what might be coming up.

Thanks for stopping by! I hope you are having a great start to December!

~Anne

When your bowls don't match

I've always had this vague sense that I needed to be perfect. I must always show happiness. Anything less than that would cause distress to those around me. 

My kids must behave perfectly. Otherwise, others would think I don't have it together as a mom. 

My house must be perfect. Otherwise, people who might stop by might think I'm a slob.

I should be the perfect cook. Plan perfect meals for my family from all of the food groups. All the time.  In fact, absolute perfection would be to plan, shop AND COOK once a month. Period. No running to the grocery store every week, (or worse yet every day)!

My marriage should be the model relationship. Date nights once a week. Husband opens every door for me, and I should get flowers once a week. (This is just for starters! Poor man!)

Our yard should be immaculate. No weeds. No brown spots. Anywhere. (again, poor man!)