Five things I learned in August

I'm linking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky for her Things I Learned series where we share the serious and the silly things we learned during the previous month. Mostly silly. Five may not seem like many, but, hey, that's more than one a week!


1. I'm not sure if it's because we no longer have anyone in our family that follows the school year calendar, or the fact that I'm getting older (?), but this August went by the fastest that I can remember any August traveling. 

Our youngest child graduated from college in May, so no back to school shopping for clothes or supplies. No "new class" anticipation. That's not to say that there aren't other things we've anticipated (like my daughter's first real post-college job!)

2. Going to the Iowa State fair never gets old. Okay, so we do the same things there every year. We go on a weeknight evening when we can get in for nearly half price (we're Dutch, after all). 

us at the Iowa State Fair!

We take in the Big Bull, Big Boar, Butter Cow, the Agriculture Building to see all the garden vegetable winners, and get the free egg-on-a-stick from The Egg Council. (we are a pretty easy to please family.) 

Two of our young adults kids came with us this year. It tickles me that they like going as much as we do. "I wouldn't miss the fair!" my son said as we were making plans to go.



3. When my hubby planted tall sunflowers right outside our family room windows last year, I thought it was an odd spot, honestly. It's not the typical landscaping seen in our neighborhood. They are tall, the tallest one got to 12 feet, 9 inches this year!

I've decided that there couldn't have been a better place to plant them because I've had a front row seat to the Goldfinches that have come to eat the seeds. As I wrote in another post, they've acted like circus performers, hanging on, upside down, to the outer petals of the flower, blowing in the breeze with the stalks, and plucking out seeds. It's been one of the most entertaining things this month. Again, I'm easy to please!

4.  I looked on Pinterest and found a new knitted dishcloth design to try. Just the right challenge for this fairly new knitter. My first try, I goofed up and had to rip out the half that I had finished. I didn't fret about it. I just started over! I've decided that trying something new, trumps being perfect at it! 

The one with the mistakes...

5.  As mentioned in #1, my daughter just got her first post-college job! She's been looking since before graduation, and looking in her degree area of Advertising, applying all of the country to things that looked interesting. 

She ended up getting a part-time job with a church camp, doing their communication and design materials! I couldn't be more happy, because she's happy. She knew the camp directors by their first names before her first day. I'd say that's going to be a pretty homey place to work!

What kinds of things did you learn in August? Did it go as fast for you as it did for me?

Blessings to you!

~Anne

Lost but not forgotten

I'm linking up at Lisa Jo Baker's blog today for Five Minute Friday. This is where writers join in to write on one topic. We don't worry about perfection or back tracking. Just writing for the fun of it. You are welcome to join in! Today's prompt is "lost".

I could almost hear the grain dryer as it roared like an angry lion. I could almost see my dad checking on the grain bins, or unloading a truckload of fresh picked corn into the place where the auger would take the corn up up up and dump it in the top of the grain bin.

But, all of that is lost now.

All I have are memories. 

I had a chance to go back to my old farm place this last weekend. I already knew that my house and all the out buildings were long gone. Pushed out of the way to plant and harvest more crops. 

The price of progress pushing out my memories.

I stood there with the wind tousling my hair around my face, just as it was tossing the grass around my feet. All I could see in front of me were the four grain bins, including the grain dryer that my dad used to use.

The historical marker that has marked our farm since 1949 was still standing there as proud 

as ever.

I saw an auger. Was it the one my dad used to use? I also saw an old tractor that I could have sworn was my dads. But, there is now no one to ask whether it was my dad’s or not.

Dad passed away 25 years ago, and it’s been even longer since he actually farmed the land since he had complications of Parkinsons.

The house I grew up in, the grainery, the barn, the abandoned chicken house, the pasture where we kept our horses, 

all lost. 

All long gone.

But in my vivid memories none of that will ever be forgotten, in fact as I stood there in the 

breeze,

in the stillness

in the quiet,

I think I could hear my dad working 

and I could see him standing at the bin waving a smile.

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Thanks for stopping by, friend!

When you're not sure if you should take the risk

Even though you know the news is coming, you are never quite prepared for it. 

The first thing I wanted to do after hearing about my step-brother's death, was to write out my reflections (process). Then, I dug into my stash of old pictures.

Why do we say that a picture is worth a thousand words? Because it is. 

Especially if it's a picture of a loved one who has just passed out of this life and into the next.


What do these photos say?

Why do they bring so much comfort?

I wanted to scan in and share on Facebook an album of pictures from growing up with my step-brother, Greg, on our Nebraska farm. I found just eight pictures at first.

When I looked at these photos of him as a little boy, and me as a big sister, sweet memories came flooding back. 

How Greg had that silly wink-grin he'd do quite often.

His sense of humor.

The way he was a big brother to my little brother.

But, as I got ready to hit "post album" I hesitated.

How would my step mom feel to see these? Would it hurt her more? Would it make the grieving worse?

I wasn't sure, but I took the risk.

That night she left a message on my phone, "Thank you for posting those old pictures. They are just precious. We are downloading them to use on a picture board at the memorial service."

I called her the next day and I admitted that I was hesitant to post them. She said, "Oh no, I loved seeing them."

I do believe we need to be very cautious about what we post on the internet. 

But, sometimes I swing to the conservative extreme out of fear of not "saying it right" or "doing it right." Because I'm "not perfect." 

These are my old tapes.

In thinking about whether to post the picture memories, I had to ask myself,

 "What's my heart behind this?"

I admitted that it wasn't to bring attention to myself at all. It was to encourage my family.

To bring joy.

To help us remember the good times.

So, I took the risk of showing up, being seen and living brave by sharing these treasures I found.


Let's post the joyful memories if it feels right and if we have peace about it.

Let's speak the joyful word.

Let's send the note.

And, let's be the encouragement this world so desperately needs.

"Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances."

Proverbs 25:11

"Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing."

I Thessalonians 5:11

Blessings to you,

Dare to Be: Present with family {Day 26}

She told him, "Dad, it's okay to rest. You've worked hard in this life. You can rest."

She knew. We all knew that Henry's eighty-three years had been lived to their fullest measure. The hands that lay limp on bed sheets were once strong and hardly ever resting. 

Nine days had slipped their way through time between the dreaded call that he fell to when the angels took him home. 

During these nine days, there were many glimpses beyond the velum-like divide between earth and heaven. I saw this in laughter and in tears. I saw this while cooking pasta with two nieces to feed an army of family.

I heard this in hymns sung by the hospice bedside and scripture read to closed eyes and shallow breaths. I saw it in good-byes cried by grand-daughters who knew that they wouldn't see their grandpa again in his time on earth. 

Glimpses of the Divine were everywhere in the ICU and hospice where pieces and parts of a twenty six member family camped out for nine whole days. Sadness. Of course. Hope and joy. Without a doubt. 

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The snow is coming down gently around us as if on white pillows as we huddle together in the small unheated Veterans cemetery chapel. My two twenty-something sons and their dad joined hands with a couple of cousins and an uncle or two to accompany their grandfather's flag draped casket into it's prominent place in front. 

My mother-in-law, pulling her black coat around her cold shoulders is motioned to the red capped chair front and center. Her sons and daughters of two generations file in beside and behind her and sit down on cold plastic folding chairs. 

My pastor sister-in-law takes her place behind the wooden podium up front to lead us in the committal of her father to the ground.

I don't recall all the tear stained words she says on Tuesday morning. But, I think again and again how good and appropriate that this good man's daughter be saying these final words to honor him. 

As a family, we drew close and hugged a little tighter.

Brothers and sisters by blood and by Christ were drawn together during this time of grief in ways that had never been before to comfort, make life altering decisions and use their gifts to give to this special dad and grandpa and to each other. 

How can I say that this was the worst of times, but also the best of times? 



Have you lost someone special to you? Have you experienced the pain of loss, but also the love of God in the midst of your loss? I'd love to hear your story.

Click on my button to see a list of all 31 Days posts. Thanks for stopping by to visit!

This post is part of a 31 Day series on the topic Dare to Be and linking up with about 1500 other bloggers on hundreds of topics. Come on over to The Nester to visit!

things I learned in September

Here are some things I learned in September in no particular order.

1. What's Daring Greatly?  I joined a class called Daring Greatly based on Brene Brown's book, by the same name. It's about being vulnerable. Being willing to step into the arena (even though you might get your butt kicked.) I'm learning how to Show up. Be brave. Be seen. Challenging, but good stuff. I could not recommend this book highly enough. Get out your highlighter!

2. My son drove 30 miles without his glasses and lived. He's living with us. A college grad. He wanted to drive to an event. His glasses had just broken. I'm the parent, but being careful not to parent too much. He left. I prayed. I prayed. And then I prayed. He made it home. (thank you, Jesus.)

3. First time ever to make salsa. From our first time tomatoes. With my son. (did you see all those firsts?) Mostly my son, has made six batches with said tomatoes. And, it is awesome if I say so myself. 

4. My Dutch husband must not be so Dutch after all. Last Monday he emailed me from work to say he must have had a weak moment because he ordered us tickets to White Christmas at the Civic Center. In the fourth row.  White Christmas is our absolute go-to, hands down favorite holiday movie. We don't go a year without watching it.

 After work that day, my hubby and I were both getting a little moist in the eyes just thinking about how fun and awesome that show is going to be in December. I be lovin' me some Bing Crosby musical festivities.

5.  We are mid-season on season 3 of Downton Abbey. My husband is just as obsessed as I am. Our son says "you guys are addicted" and he is right. We have never had a show that is "ours" before. This is either really good, or it is really bad. We're not sure.

6.  My daugher bought her own tea-brewing travel mug. While most college kids are hooking up IV's to coffee and cappuccino machines at Starbucks, my daughter is putting tea leaves and hot water in her special tea-brewing-travel-tea-mug from Amazon and taking tea to class. This blows my mind, and is really rather cute.

7.  I danced in the rain. Kind of. Last week during a severe thunderstorm warning (and actual 70 mph wind thunderstorm with horizontal rain) I went outside with my 23 year old son and "stood" in the "wind tunnel" between our house and the neighbor's. This is the mom who always looked dryly and safely from the distance of the covered front porch when the kids were little. As I had that scaredy cat look on my face, my grown son said, "C'mon! I'll go with you!" (he'd already risked life and limb twice in the same place.)

So, I ran out there with him (for like 30 seconds). I got absolutely soaked, but I have to say that it was one of the most fun things I've ever done. Why have I always been so uptight about getting wet in the rain?

8. I can make 140 hot tamales last about six weeks. I think this is something to celebrate, don't you?

9. Live the Silver Lining. I won't go into much detail here because I explain it on the blog.  I have been handed literally hundreds of old photos not just from my childhood, but further back as well. I look at these old photos and they are shouting out to have their stories told. I'm just getting started on this new blog, but be sure to come visit! I'll be sharing stories of my past, but also showing how God puts a silver lining through all experiences.

little me and Snuggles

10. I'll be blogging every day in October like I did last year. The Nester has a link up in October for those who want to pick a topic and write for 31 days. I'm probably crazy, but I'm super excited to do this again this year. I've been trying to get the rusty wheels turning for a great topic and some posts that won't bore you all to tears. It starts actually on Monday the 30th, so keep your dial tuned to A Ready Listener to see what I'll be up to!

11. Finally. The best quote of the month. It was from my 25 year old son. "Any man, of any age, can look good if he's put into clothes that fit him well." This came out of a very lively discussion one day over lunch with both my adult sons about men's fashion and men's fashion blogs. (seems a bit ironic, but that would be another whole post.)

Thanks for stopping by to see what I learned! Care to join in? Check out the link up at Chatting at the Sky where Emily Freeman invites us to link up. Or just stop by to see what others have learned. It's a lot of fun.

Just what it means

Today, I'm linking up with a community of writers at Lisa Jo Baker's blog for Five Minute Friday. The prompt is "last", and we are to write for just five minutes straight. From the heart. No need to be perfect, just sharing our hearts through words.  Won't you join in?

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I saw what you did last night. I saw the way you rang the doorbell in that special way when you stopped over unannounced.

I love when you do that.

I saw the way you came through the door and threw your arms around me and gave me a big hug. Oh, how my mom heart relishes that! {I hope you don't read this!}

I saw the way you came through the door and said to your dad and your brother, "Hey, want to throw the frisbee around?" Then, came the three minute search for the sister's frisbee.

I noticed, as you tossed frisbee with your dad and younger brother, how you subtly encouraged/challenged your younger brother in his elusive job search.

I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of the man you have become and I'm so proud you're my son. It hasn't always been easy. You would say that too.

But, now, as you are in mid-twenties {how?} and living only a couple miles from us....and you love to stop by.....it warms my heart more than you know.

As darkness came near last night and it was too dim to see the frisbee, you crouched on the driveway to talk a little more. It's hard for you to leave a good conversation. I see that, too.

And when your sister saw you eating that fresh tomato from our garden just like it was an apple? Her words were priceless and just what I'd been thinking. 

She said, "I keep thinking, would you have been eating that tomato when you were seventeen?"

And, we all laughed at that together. 

God broke down the big door

Christ has come to this world to heal our hearts. He has brought His Light into our darkness.  Darkness must flee in the Light of the Christ-child's holy Presence. 

At our Christmas Eve service this afternoon, my pastor described two rooms with a solid wall between them. One room bright light and the other the darkest dark. He asked us, "which room do you see yourself in right now?" Then, he asked, "which room do you want to be in?" He went on to say that by God sending Jesus to this earth, He Himself kicked the big door down in between the two rooms...so that even if we feel we've been in the dark, God has initiated and come down to earth to break down that barrier and give us light. The Light of His Love. The Light of His Glorious Presence. We do not have to claw our way through that door to the Light.  Jesus, The Light of the World did it for us.

What a fresh way of seeing the gospel message! I saw it anew and afresh. My prayer is that my family saw it too. That the three thousand in attendance saw it. 

That is my prayer for you, too, this Christmas. That you will know that God has broken down the big door between His brightest bright and the darkest dark to bring you His Light that you no longer have to walk in darkness.

Merry Christmas and God bless!

Isaiah 9:2
The people who walk in darkness
Will see a great light;
Those who live in a dark land,
The light will shine on them.

eyes wide open: baptism, Batman and Elvis {days 27-29}

I wrote on Facebook today, Help! I've lost my motivation and I can't get up!  I know you know what I mean. I sat in my chair most of the morning reading different blog posts on my phone and drinking cup after cup of hot tea. I wrote a little, read a little, cried a little, felt guilty for sitting there a little. And then I kept sitting there. Sometimes, I need days like this. Especially after a high intensity weekend.

But, the weekend was filled full of abundance. 

Awesome teaching at the Alpha Holy Spirit retreat. Being "baptized" with a super-soaker by the pastor. Being prayed for by three different gals whom I had just met. And, that is just scratching the surface. 

My nephew's wedding and wedding dance provided more than a little joy. There was The Cupid Shuffle complete with batman masks. Dancing with my son. A conversation with my other son about renewed vision for his future in Forestry. Conversations with family and friends over booming bass.

We were told that we had to make a pitstop at the photo booth before we left the reception. I'm thinking, photo booth? So we go there and there is a brown backdrop taped to the wall and a table filled with different goofy hats, glasses, and other props. I made my hubby put on Elvis shades and a goofy hat. Can't wait to see how that turned out.

In between all of these things was the prevalent feeling of joy. I know God was there. God With Us. I saw him working in relationships that used to be broken but are now mended. I saw Him speak to people about His love for them. I saw Him at work in those around me.

I might be tired today, but I am full, and my life is full.

see day 1 for a list of all 31 posts

eyes wide open: the space between {day 13}

pregame rehearsal

Today I woke up with my back hurting. Still. This is getting old, right? And, it's storming. The forecast for the day is rain and more rain.

I'm faced with a familiar dilemma. I absolutely LOVE watching my son perform in the Iowa State marching band. It is absolutely the highlight of my fall. Plus, he is a senior, so only two more possible times to go watch him at a football game. 

But it means walking about three miles by the time we walk from our parked car to watch the band, and then back to the car. Then more walking because we are band groupies and follow them around between tailgaters.

It means carrying an umbrella for about two hours. It means standing on concrete for about two hours. Not so smart in my current condition. 

 I'm stuck in the place between what is good and what is best. 

Door #1. Go and watch my son perform, and risk further back strain. 

Door #2. Stay home, and miss the band's awesome pregame performance. But rest my back and heal. 

Our son on game day

I finally say to myself, You're going to have to choose between good and best. What is best right now? Today. Knowing the condition of your back and the weather.

That space between good and best is a space I've often found myself in.

Do I call this person or not?
Do I bring up this topic with my husband?
Do I join this group?
Do I eat this cookie?
Do I go watch my son march?

In my heart of hearts I want to do what's best.  Always. For God. For my family. For others. For me. But often I feel stuck in the space between good and best. Because sometimes good looks best. And best looks worse.

A friend said recently of the human condition: We are a piece of work! I couldn't agree more.
I am a piece of work, caught often between good and best. Needing to choose. And it can be very hard.

What do you do when you are wedged in that space between 'good' and 'best'? 

see day 1 for a list of all 31 posts

For love of a kitty cat....

"I think you'll get to meet Bandit!". This was the text that I had gotten the day before from my young adult son in arranging a 'wedding invite addressing party' for this particular Tuesday evening. This was pretty exciting news to me, since I had aleady seen Bandit's picture on Facebook. Only later in the evening did it dawn on me that in a few short weeks Bandit will be my Grand-kitty!
My son had to step out of our invite addressing party to go pick up Bandit from the professional groomer. My son and his fiance had found Bandit on a pet adoption site and had driven to a nearby town just the previous Saturday to go look at her. They both told me that when they met Bandit, they knew right away that they wanted to adopt her. They felt an immediate connection with her. 
Bandit nimbly stepped out of the newly purchased cat carrier that was her new transportation. Because of matted fur, they had to have her shaved and bathed at the groomer.  Still, she seemed like a beautiful Siamese to me, with the striking markings that are true to that breed, and very large eyes. She seemed comfortable enough to step out into a home that was not her own, and begin sniffing her way around to check things out. It was only after she was already introduced to me, that I learned that she is completely blind. 
Of course, this immediately prompted more questions on my part. "Wow, how long has she been blind?" (her whole 6 years of life). "Did you know she was blind before you went to look at her?" (Yes, they said they had wanted and sought out a special needs cat, and it had said that she was special needs in the ad.) As I went back to watching Bandit make her way around a strange kitchen, I noticed that her nose would bump up against the island, or a chair, but she didn't seem bothered too much by that. She just quickly shifted her direction.
Once during the evening, we heard a meow that was lower sounding than the brief, higher pitched meows (her "conversational" meows) we'd been hearing as she wove in and out of our feet. My son said, "Hear that sound? That is the sound she makes when she's gotten lost somewhere away from us and isn't sure how to get back." Next thing I knew, I heard my son's fiance calling out, "Bandit!, over here!!" "Here we are, Bandit!", as she tried to reassure her new kitty that she wasn't alone, that we all were nearby.

My heart was warmed that night watching my son and his fiance care for this blind kitty cat. I could tell by the way they talked to her and shared how they had helped her get used to her new home, that they have great compassion for her. Bandit has been adopted into a very caring home, to two people who love her in spite of her disability and imperfections. It seems this little factor about her has captured the hearts of her owners in a deep way, which touched me greatly. 
As I watched them watch over her in a protective way, I was reminded of how my Heavenly Father watches over me. Just like they adopted Bandit, knowing of her imperfections, my Heavenly Father has adopted me just the way I am. He rescued me, failures and all, and through His Son Jesus, has given me a new (eternal) home. When I get lost and can't find my way, He calls out to me to let me know He's right there. That He's been there all the time, even when I couldn't see Him. 
I doubt my son or his fiance would have guessed the impact their adoption of a blind kitty cat would have on me. Their kindness to Bandit is a touching example to me of God's welcoming, redeeming love.