Saturday, September 24, 2016

When I'm five

I'm at the table for coffee time. I'm with my parents and the old people. 

I'm always with the old people. They are my dad's aunt and uncle. But, these old people are like grandparents to me. They raised my dad from age 16 after he came to the New Country from the Old Country. His aunt taught him English.

I love my great aunt for that. She is nice. She is lovely.

I'm five. The adults at the table are dunking their rusks into their Sanka, which has been laced with a sugar cube or two. I can still hear the clank clank of the spoon sliding against the side of the coffee cup (always a cup on a saucer) as they would stir in the sugar. Rarely cream.

I'm five. Life is good. I am an only child so far. My brother would be born the next year. I get all the attention from my parents and the old people who we are with. A lot. I get all the attention from people at church.

I have a farm with a swing set. I like to swing. Alone.  I fly high into the air, but always come back down. Only to fly again.

I am five and I don't know what's coming soon. 

I don't know that my bedroom will change from the one that I've always known. The one with the yellow sweet peas on the walls, my white four poster bed, and where my brother's crib is on the opposite wall as mine. 

The bedroom where the house is so old that corn cobs were used as insulation. 

This would be the reason my mom, in the coming years, after the tornado came through my life and I was moved out of my farm, 
then moved back, 
and then back and forth...

this would be the reason my mom buys fancy fire detectors for our ceilings, so that she can feel like I'm safe. 

Because she is not with me.


Blessings to you!

Thanks for joining me for Five Minute Friday. Today, I took the prompt "five" into mini memoir mode. I'm linking up with other courageous writers over at Kate Motaung's blog. Come on over and see what other writers have written for this week's prompt!


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Listen to your heart

You should do what people want
Listen to your heart.

You should be more helpful.
Listen to your heart.

You should care more about what others think of you.
Listen to your heart.

You could live your life pleasing other people, forget your dreams.
Listen to your heart.

You should bury the hatchet and pretend nothing ever happened.
Listen to your heart.

You should follow this career path, not that one, because it's more suitable.
Listen to your heart.

You will only be hurting yourself if you don't do what they say.
Listen to your heart.

You'll be sad and all alone if you choose that.
Listen to your heart.

You won't be liked, admired or respected.
Listen to your heart.

You're not good enough to do what other people do. You'll see.
Listen to your heart.

You should take care of others, even when they can take care of themselves.
Listen to your heart.

The voices.
They are loud.
They are many.
They arrive unannounced and uninvited.
They laugh.
They sneer.
They try to manipulate and control.

But, I won't listen to them.
I won't.
I will not.

I will listen to my heart.
It's there that I'll find truth and integrity.
I will listen to my heart.


Sharing on a theme that's been ringing in my ears this week. Linking up with other writers for Five Minute Friday. Last Friday's prompt was "listen". I listened and wrote. Come on over to Kate Motaung's blog to read what others have written on this prompt!

Thursday, September 8, 2016

the path to wholeheartedness

Linking up today with other brave writers for Five Minute Friday, almost a week late! The link up is over at Kate Motaung's blog. So, hey there! The prompt for last week was "path". It took me this long to decide which direction to go with it. What path are you taking these days?

There are myriads of paths to take. Even with this prompt, I'm tempted to give up even before I begin. 

Know why?

So many choices! How do I decide where to take this?

What path will I choose for this week's prompt?

The path that comes to mind over and over again is wholeheartedness. I think that's been the theme of this blog.

My dream and desire is to take the path of truth, both to myself and to others.

The path that might be the less worn, but the path that leads to wholeheartedness.

Sebasco, Maine

Being brave in the face of fear.

Facing the fears or enemies of peace head on.

Protecting myself from danger when possible.

Leading my soul to greener pastures that promote peace in the midst of chaos.

Pointing my spirit to the One and only One who can point me to truth, peace and all other good things.

This I believe. 

This I want to live.

Wholeheartedness and truthful living means that I might find myself *face down in the mud, in the middle of the arena more times than I would like.  It means that I'll have to remind myself that I'm not alone. That I am a warrior, living out my messy story. But, it's my story to live. No one else's.

I'll have to remind myself that I can get back up from the mud. That with my fellow brave warriors around me, I can survive and thrive the tough stuff. I can wash up, get up and try again. That I'm not alone in this.

I've got friends.
I've got fellow warriors.
I've got myself.
And, I've got the God who made me.


Blessings to you, friend. Thanks so much for stopping!!


*references to the "arena" are from author Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, which has had a huge influence on my wholehearted journey. You can click on the Daring Greatly tag at the bottom of this post to read other posts I've written on daring greatly and wholehearted living. :)
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