Friday, August 19, 2016

when you're picked last

Do you remember grade school recess? I do. Some were fun. Some, not so much. 

I wasn't very athletic, and I was a little chubby. I was pretty much one of the last to be picked for the team, whatever game was being played that day. 

Funny, how most of the games that were played in grade school involved running. I think about that now, and I wonder why? 

Hmm. Thinking out loud here.

Sometimes i can feel "picked last" as an adult. 

Oh, it's not the same. I'm not playing kickball or Pump Pump Pull Away, but I can feel picked last anyway.

I'm realizing that this feeling is something I've carried over from childhood. Digging deep, I realize that by being picked last for games, and coming in dead last at the annual "Fun Day", I started to equate being last with my worth.

Not a good combination.

I started reading a book this week that has begun to heal this feeling of being "picked last", or to put it another way, low self-esteem.

The grocery store clerk isn't always silently mocking me. People probably aren't talking behind my back.

Lysa Terkeurst used the term "live loved" in her book Uninvited. 

 I soaked that phrase up like a damp sponge.

I think that's the key to kicking the feeling of being "picked last" in life.

I'm going to start reminding myself that I'm loved deeply.
I'm going to say, "live loved" to myself a lot.

I hope you do, too. Because it's true.

Blessings to you, friend. Let's live loved.


Linking up today with other writers for Five Minute Friday. Head on over to Kate Motaung's blog to find out about it, or join in. Today's prompt is "team".

Friday, August 12, 2016

lift the hand

Linking up today with other wild writers at Kate Motaung's blog for Five Minute Friday. We write for five minutes and don't do fancy edits. In fact, today, I didn't even reformat. Just added a photo. That's really wild. Today's prompt is lift.

What if you don't know what to do, but you know you have to lift your hand to do it. 

Anything you want to do has to have effort behind it, and initiative.

Is there a dream burning a hole in your pocket?
Have you had dreams come and weigh heavy, and then vanish into thin air?

Have you wondered what to do with the rest of your life?

What would you do if money were no object?
What would you do if happiness was the result?

Sheer happiness with no strings attatched?

Sometimes it takes some deep soul searching.
Sometimes the hand is heavy and sluggish.
Sometimes the hand doesn't know which way to go, so it's paralyzed, so to speak.

Paralyzed by inaction.
Oh, the ability is there. 

But, the initiatve and motivation are lacking for some reason.

That reason may be unknown.

Lift your hand.

Lift the pen.
Lift the brush.
Lift the saw or hammer.

Lift your eyes to possibilities.
They are truly endless.

Why don't we think this way more often?

The freedoms we have to create and make something beautiful from nothing are here. They are right in front of us.

What will it take for us to lift ourselves out of the un-initiative, the un-motivation to start?
What makes us stuck?

What if the doing something big (or small) is just in the "getting started". 
The lifting of the hand.

Thanks for stopping by for Five Minutes of crazy free writing!

Let's lift our hands and do our happy work!


Friday, August 5, 2016

choose the happy

Linking up with other amazing writers at Kate Motaung's blog today for Five Minute Friday. Five minutes of writing for the fun of it without fancy edits. Today's prompt is happy

Sometimes it takes work to find the happy. Life isn't always as you want it to be, nor how you planned it to be.

Is it possible to be happy even though?

Sometimes it takes work to find the happy.

But, sometimes it's in the work, or in the looking for happy that happiness is found.

I find that the older I get, the more intentional I need to be about finding my own brand of happiness.  I mean, the only things I get to choose in line with finding happy are 

my thoughts and my behaviors.

I cannot control those around me and "make" them "make me" more happy.

Can I?

I cannot control them. I can only control me.  I can only control ME and my happiness and my way of being in the world.

What will I choose to fill my mind and my days with?

What will I ruminate on? I can choose. It is my privilege to choose my thoughts.

I can either choose to ruminate on a disagreement I had with someone, and what I could've done differently. 

Or, I can choose thoughts that lift me higher. Choose the happy.

Painting makes me happy.
Smiles and good times with my family make me happy.
Writing makes me happy.
Having a cup of tea makes me happy.
Watching birds outside my window makes me happy.
Thrift shopping with my daughter makes me happy.

I get to choose what to focus on.  Sure, life is not always happy. What happens to me on a daily basis doesn't always make me happy.

So, I have to CHOOSE my happy.

How about you?

Blessings to you, friend,


Sunday, July 17, 2016

Five simple ways to create space for yourself

Linking up today with other writers over at Kate Motaung's blog, Heading Home. We write for five minutes straight. No fancy edits, just writing for the fun of it. Today's prompt is create.

Do you ever feel like life is closing in around you. Like the demands for your time and energy are more than you can manage, and you're getting more and more resentful?

Maybe it's time to take a little "me" time. Time for some self-care. Time to slow down.  Below are five ways you can create more space for yourself. 

1.  recognize your limits.  We all have them. Another word for these are boundaries. We can set a simple boundary for ourselves by saying the simple word "no". Boundaries and limits protect our time, treasure and energy.

2.  be aware of how you're wired.  Are you an introvert, gaining energy by being alone? Or are you an extrovert, gaining energy by being with others? This is a very important piece of data to have about yourself. Know yourself and you'll find out quickly if you should say no to that party or YES, I'M all in!!

3.  Julia Cameron (author) advocates "artist dates" for yourself. I'm advocating a "take time for yourself date". What do you like to do?? Museums? Swimming? Coffee? Walking? Learn to be content doing things alone.

4.  Create. I cannot say enough about this. Create and your heart will be happy. Create and you'll feel free in your soul. I've written many posts about this and I've become a firm believer.

5.  Write yourself a letter from your "highest self". I mean this. It sounds weird, but it's not. It's totally legit. You'll be surprised how your higher self just "knows" something that your emotions have been overriding. I highly encourage this for emotional freedom.

Most of all. Listen to your intuition. Listen to your gut. It's going to be right. It knows what's right for you.

Blessings to you, friend.


Friday, July 8, 2016

If you're feeling small

Linking up with other writers today for Five Minute Friday. Find out the skinny on how to join in over at Kate Motaung's blog. And check out what others have written on the topic "build".

Dear You,

Have you been made to feel small this week? Less than? Unimportant. Even invisible?

Sometimes that happens when those around you are wounded themselves and they can't see past the pain, to see you.

This doesn't reflect on you at all, even though that's the ditch you often fall into. 

Time and time again, you think the way they treat you is all about you and your not-good-enoughness.

Think again.

It's when these feelings and thoughts of others come at us, and even from our own selves, (the wounded parts), that we must build ourselves up.

Our highest self must come to the rescue of the hurting, invisible, small version of ourselves and build ourselves up.

Our brains only listen to us.

That's right. Your brain will hear the words of others and try to make you think that you are the smallness that others say.

But, if your brain tells you the truth of who you are, that you are enough, those other voices will be silenced.

Good will win over bad.
Light always puts out the darkness.

It will always start with us, and it should end with us, too.

See, God created you. He loves you. He's always near you.

And, he's given you YOU!! 
Cherish the loved one that you are.
Cherish your gifts.
Accept them.

Tell yourself you are enough. Because you are.

People may come and go from your life and they will say what they will. But, you don't have to listen.
Instead, listen to the voice deep inside of you that is in tune with the voice of God.

You, my friend, are enough.

Blessings to you today, friend.


Thursday, June 23, 2016

What is your "right now"?

Joining in late for last week's Five Minute Friday post over at Kate Motaung's blog. The prompt for last Friday was "lose". 

In 2012 I got accepted to a grad school in Seattle into their Counseling Psychology program. I would have been a non traditional student, for sure, but I have felt called to help others in this way since my college days.

Because of circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to move from Iowa out to Seattle, WA with my hubby to attend grad school. 

Four years later, I am now unsure if I even want to go to grad school.

What gives? What makes you lose your focus, the purpose that seemed like it was burning a hole in my heart and (soon to be burning a hole in my pocket)?

I don't understand it at all. 

I have no desire right now to look into local programs. 

I read something from the Tiny Buddha website yesterday that one of my Facebook friends posted about purpose.

That nothing has to be done in a hurry. And, just because we don't know what to do right now, doesn't mean that "right now" doesn't have meaning.

That, to look at what is "right now" beckoning me, or calling me, is what I could do, that the "right now" can be my purpose.

Right now, my intuition, my gut is calling me to paint. I've been experimenting with acrylics and mixed media for a little over a year. 

I love what I've learned both on and off the canvas as I take bold, brave, courageous steps to make something out of nothing.

I'm not sure where this is leading me, but this is my "right now".

What is your "right now"?


Blessings to you!


Saturday, May 14, 2016

a friendship beyond words

I've never felt I was good at dialogue, but in this post I tried it. Not perfect by any means, but a conversation with a new friend stuck with me this week. 

Joining in with a flash mob of writers for Five Minute Friday, where we write for five minutes straight. No fancy editing or rewording of text. Come on over to Kate Motaung's place to see what others have written on the prompt "grow", and to join in yourself!!

Setting the timer for five minutes.

Elaheh, my new Iranian friend was at ESL group again Thursday night. She missed last week because she was so busy with work. Her English is very broken, but she's growing and learning. 

She had emailed me that she was sick. When I checked in Thursday night with her, she assured me she wasn't sick, just busy. 

Oh, the intricacies of language. Work and sick don't sound the same, but I think she got them mixed up. 

She invited me over to her house this next week for lunch. I said I would bring my own lunch this time (because I am gluten free). There were awkward silences and stares. I think she didn't understand "bring my own lunch." With a few more tries and hand gestures, I think she got it.

After group I asked her about her work. 
She said, "work is my habit."

Confused, I said, "habit? Not sure I understand. Is your work something you do because you have to? Not because you want to?

"No", She said. "A habit, like smoking or something."

I smiled. "okay." I said.

She then said "I don't think about my family in Iran as much."

"oh", I said. "Going to work helps you not to miss them so much."


Understood, my new friend. Understood.


Thanks for joining me today!
Blessings to you,


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