Layers

yellow feathers collect at the bottom of his cage

it's that season again

a season of shedding the old to make way for the new

i'm like him

the old, outdated parts of me are shedding

they've been peeling away like outdated wallpaper to reveal yet more layers underneath

when will the peeling back of layers be completed?

his molting and growing of new feathers will be complete in a matter of weeks

mine may take weeks, months or even years

a lifetime of time-worn layers peeling off

being scraped away as extra grout

laying at my feet

discarded

how can I ever paste them back to me?

i cannot

nor would I ever want to

those layers of me are in the past

they are no longer me

i will never be the same 

the old me and the new me dance until the day the new me

the new layer is complete

a better place to be

Linking up today with Five Minute Friday. A group of writers who write on a prompt for five minutes straight, with out fancy edits. This week's prompt is "more". 




so many years I stayed attached, tethered
to those around me. loved ones who I mistakenly thought I could change
on a moment's notice.

no.

I cannot.

why did it take this long to realize that all who are alive on this planet are on their own life's journeys, learning their own life lessons and I have nothing to do with it except to be a companion.

a friend, a comrade to come alongside the ones I love, the strangers I meet,

to observe.

not control.  not manipulate. not cajole into doing or being anything

except what their Creator made them to be. 



yes, more detachment means more peace.

better alignment in expectations means I have more peace, too.

this will be a life long journey, I see, to make this adjustment in life long patterns of thinking and being.

I am unhinging from old patterns of relating with myself and others. untethered to fly free in the unknown.

Yes, uncertainty is scary, but hanging on to old patterns of being is stifling and suffocating.

I'm learning and leaning on the One who can help me down new paths.
Learning my own life lessons along the way, but I belong.

I know that now.
I belong here. 
I accept myself right where I am, on the way to where I need to be.

*****************************************

Thanks for stopping by today!

Blessings,

Anne

The gift to give yourself

Today I'm joining other writers for Five Minute Friday. The prompt is "refine". For the first time ever, I wrote for five minutes, but then let myself keep going. I don't normally like to do that, but I had a lot to say about the topic I chose to write on and the words just kept coming.  Go on over to katemotaung.com to see how you can join in this flash mob of writers too! 

START.

I'm not known for being too organized or efficient. I'm also not known for caring too much about it either. Well, I do care. But, it is definitely not something I'm striving for, to do more quickly.

Maybe I could refine that and improve, but I've never been one to like New Years resolutions. They have always seemed like something that sets one up for failure. I have enough trouble staying in a good place with self esteem, so no resolutions.

I have discovered something about energy balance and self care recently though and I'm passionate enough about the results that I'm going to continue refining what I know and things I do about these two catagories long after 2017 is out the door. 

Know why? 
Peace. 
Joy.
Space to breathe.

Space to think, grow and learn.

Energy balance.
I don't mean acupuncture or holistic medicine. I mean the balance of what kind of energy I'm letting into my life and what energy I'm letting out. 

I've refined my follow feeds on all my social media. This hasn't been a choice really, as I look at how my body handles stress. If something is causing negativity and resulting stress, it's going off my radar.

It might be my age talking here, but I don't have enough margin in my physical, emotional and mental health to tolerate negativity any more. 

Self care. 

Huge!! 

What do I need right now? What will bring joy and help me to focus on gratitude?

STOP

I read just yesterday that if you're grateful, there's no room in your brain for anger. This is from a well known author, but really, I could have told you that. 

If you're like me, anger about just about anything can creep in pretty sinister like. Before you know it, we're feeding that anger and it's getting bigger. According to this author, what we feed gets bigger. 

However,

by intentionally beginning to focus energy and attention on gratitude, the anger has no where to go but out. 

In the beginning of 2016 I started a gratitude jar. I bought a vintage jar and found scraps of paper at first and put these on a prominent shelf in my living room. Every night before bed, I stopped at this shelf and wrote out at least one thing I was grateful for that day. 

I watched this jar fill up. Then, I had to go junking to find another vintage jar because I just can't use a new one. At the end of the year I had filled two big jars to the very brim, even having to shove the pieces down in each one for 365 gratitudes to fit in them.

On New Year's Day I had a huge gift to give myself and it lasted into the next week. I started reading through all of those 365 gratitudes that I'd written each day of last year.

I smiled as I reminisced my time in June with my tribe in Maine. I chuckled at something my hubby had said to me in August. I warmed as I read "today my daughter came home from England" on July 20th. So. Many. Gratitudes. And, I had given this gift to myself without knowing it.

Without knowing it, I had filled two big jars with tons of positive energy. Those two jars sat in my house giving off positive vibes (not trying to be woo-woo here, just funny). It was all I could do to wait until New Year's Day to dig in to them and start being grateful all over again. 


I've begun my 2017 gratitude jar and I'm excited. Every night before bed, I stop at the shelf with the jar and my paper and pen and pause. Sometimes it's hard to think of something right away if the day has been kind of hard.

But this forces me to think of even the littlest thing to write down. Maybe Mr. Cardinal stopped in my fir tree for just a few minutes bringing me joy.

It's not too late to start preparing a huge gift for yourself on New Year's Day 2018! 

Thanks for stopping by today friend.

Blessings, 

Anne

What we want most this Christmas

What can you do NOW? What do you control and what is your concern but out of your control?


These are things to ponder during these days of gatherings and special moments. Even good things can bring stress--the stress of self-imposed expectations
--threats on self of perfectionism.


KNOW that you are enough.
You. Are. Enough.
Even if you did nothing else but be you, 
you are enough.


BOW--Bend the knee to the One who made you and calls you by name.
He loves you.
He came for you.
He died for you.
He rose for you.
He's declared you good. Very good.

Rest in that knowing in gratitude.

ALLOW people to be exactly who they are. No more, no less.
This is harder said than done, but will decrease stress and promote inner peace in your soul.

Isn't that what we want most this Christmas? Without our health and peace, we have nothing.

Allow yourself space
--to think
--to dream
--to know you're loved
--to know you're enough

on this crazy spinning ball called earth.

Stop off for some moments of calm and 
bow
now 
and allow.

Blessings and thank you!!

Anne

Thanks for stopping by. Linking up late to Five Minute Friday with a tribe of writers each week at Kate Motaung's blog. Stop over there to see what others have written on the prompt, NOW.

Listen to your heart

You should do what people want
Listen to your heart.

You should be more helpful.
Listen to your heart.

You should care more about what others think of you.
Listen to your heart.

You could live your life pleasing other people, forget your dreams.
Listen to your heart.

You should bury the hatchet and pretend nothing ever happened.
Listen to your heart.

You should follow this career path, not that one, because it's more suitable.
Listen to your heart.

You will only be hurting yourself if you don't do what they say.
Listen to your heart.

You'll be sad and all alone if you choose that.
Listen to your heart.

You won't be liked, admired or respected.
Listen to your heart.

You're not good enough to do what other people do. You'll see.
Listen to your heart.

You should take care of others, even when they can take care of themselves.
Listen to your heart.

The voices.
They are loud.
They are many.
They arrive unannounced and uninvited.
They laugh.
They sneer.
They try to manipulate and control.

But, I won't listen to them.
I won't.
I will not.

I will listen to my heart.
It's there that I'll find truth and integrity.
I will listen to my heart.

Blessings,
Anne

Sharing on a theme that's been ringing in my ears this week. Linking up with other writers for Five Minute Friday. Last Friday's prompt was "listen". I listened and wrote. Come on over to Kate Motaung's blog to read what others have written on this prompt!

when you're picked last

Do you remember grade school recess? I do. Some were fun. Some, not so much. 

I wasn't very athletic, and I was a little chubby. I was pretty much one of the last to be picked for the team, whatever game was being played that day. 

Funny, how most of the games that were played in grade school involved running. I think about that now, and I wonder why? 

Hmm. Thinking out loud here.

Sometimes i can feel "picked last" as an adult. 

Oh, it's not the same. I'm not playing kickball or Pump Pump Pull Away, but I can feel picked last anyway.

I'm realizing that this feeling is something I've carried over from childhood. Digging deep, I realize that by being picked last for games, and coming in dead last at the annual "Fun Day", I started to equate being last with my worth.

Not a good combination.

I started reading a book this week that has begun to heal this feeling of being "picked last", or to put it another way, low self-esteem.

The grocery store clerk isn't always silently mocking me. People probably aren't talking behind my back.

Lysa Terkeurst used the term "live loved" in her book Uninvited. 

 I soaked that phrase up like a damp sponge.

I think that's the key to kicking the feeling of being "picked last" in life.

I'm going to start reminding myself that I'm loved deeply.

I'm going to say, "live loved" to myself a lot.

I hope you do, too. Because it's true.

Blessings to you, friend. Let's live loved.

Anne

Linking up today with other writers for Five Minute Friday. Head on over to Kate Motaung's blog to find out about it, or join in. Today's prompt is "team".

Five simple ways to create space for yourself

Linking up today with other writers over at Kate Motaung's blog, Heading Home. We write for five minutes straight. No fancy edits, just writing for the fun of it. Today's prompt is create.


Do you ever feel like life is closing in around you. Like the demands for your time and energy are more than you can manage, and you're getting more and more resentful?



Maybe it's time to take a little "me" time. Time for some self-care. Time to slow down.  Below are five ways you can create more space for yourself. 

1.  recognize your limits.  We all have them. Another word for these are boundaries. We can set a simple boundary for ourselves by saying the simple word "no". Boundaries and limits protect our time, treasure and energy.

2.  be aware of how you're wired.  Are you an introvert, gaining energy by being alone? Or are you an extrovert, gaining energy by being with others? This is a very important piece of data to have about yourself. Know yourself and you'll find out quickly if you should say no to that party or YES, I'M all in!!

3.  Julia Cameron (author) advocates "artist dates" for yourself. I'm advocating a "take time for yourself date". What do you like to do?? Museums? Swimming? Coffee? Walking? Learn to be content doing things alone.

4.  Create. I cannot say enough about this. Create and your heart will be happy. Create and you'll feel free in your soul. I've written many posts about this and I've become a firm believer.

5.  Write yourself a letter from your "highest self". I mean this. It sounds weird, but it's not. It's totally legit. You'll be surprised how your higher self just "knows" something that your emotions have been overriding. I highly encourage this for emotional freedom.

Most of all. Listen to your intuition. Listen to your gut. It's going to be right. It knows what's right for you.

Blessings to you, friend.

Anne

If you're feeling small

Linking up with other writers today for Five Minute Friday. Find out the skinny on how to join in over at Kate Motaung's blog. And check out what others have written on the topic "build".


Dear You,

Have you been made to feel small this week? Less than? Unimportant. Even invisible?

Sometimes that happens when those around you are wounded themselves and they can't see past the pain, to see you.

This doesn't reflect on you at all, even though that's the ditch you often fall into. 

Time and time again, you think the way they treat you is all about you and your not-good-enoughness.

Think again.

It's when these feelings and thoughts of others come at us, and even from our own selves, (the wounded parts), that we must build ourselves up.

Our highest self must come to the rescue of the hurting, invisible, small version of ourselves and build ourselves up.

Our brains only listen to us.

That's right. Your brain will hear the words of others and try to make you think that you are the smallness that others say.

But, if your brain tells you the truth of who you are, that you are enough, those other voices will be silenced.

Good will win over bad.
Light always puts out the darkness.

It will always start with us, and it should end with us, too.

See, God created you. He loves you. He's always near you.

And, he's given you YOU!! 
Cherish the loved one that you are.
Cherish your gifts.
Accept them.

Tell yourself you are enough. Because you are.

People may come and go from your life and they will say what they will. But, you don't have to listen.
Instead, listen to the voice deep inside of you that is in tune with the voice of God.

You, my friend, are enough.


Blessings to you today, friend.

Anne

How to handle bad news

There's no doubt about it, it stinks to get bad news. Whether your child got a low grade on a paper, or the ink ran out of your pen, or you got a diagnosis you weren't expecting, bad news is disappointing at the very least.

What do you do with disappointment? It's inevitable, and I've found that the quicker I am to accept the disappointment and acknowledge it, the better off I am. 

Acknowledging negative feelings and sharing them either on paper, or better yet, with a trusted person, helps those negative feelings to shrink. It helps to gain perspective.

I've gone through many disappointments in life.

Little ones and big ones. 

Some take longer to process.

Some need a friend to help you.

Some just take minor attitude adjustments and then you're on your way.

Where do you find yourself? What do you do when you face disappointment of any kind?

Find healthy ways to express your disappointment. 

1. Stop. take a perspective check and breathe.

2. Listen to your inner wisdom, your intuition, and breathe.

3. Take action. 

Even one small step can make a huge difference in your attitude and in your day.

What one thing can you do today to face your disappointment head on, and walk yourself through it?

Blessings to you, friend!

Anne

Linking up today with other writers for Five Minute Friday. All the details are over at katemotaung.com. Come on over and see what others are writing on the prompt "news".

life lessons learned in 2015

I've felt some guilt over stopping my 31 Day Series (of Soul Spas) right smack in the middle back in October. But, when I stop to think about it, I did what I needed to do to take care of my own soul. (How ironic.)  I had guests (my cousins!) that visited from Sweden in the Fall and I needed the time to concentrate fully on them! And, oh, what a joy and a delight their visit was!

Then, one thing led to another and well, it's just harder to return to writing the longer I stay away.

So, I welcome myself back to blogging today!! Hi, me! And, I give myself permission to begin again. 



Today I'm linking up with Emily Freeman for her What I Learned link up that she usually has at the end of each month, but this time it is What I Learned in 2015 since we are at the end of one year and beginning of the next. 

I've found my mind wandering more to the future and things that I want to be or do in 2016. I see this as a good thing. Saving for a future post.

But, sometimes we're so in a hurry for the next thing that we don't take time to ponder where we've been. Here's a look back at some huge and not so huge lessons I learned in 2015.

Door County Wisconsin at sunset

1. live without regrets. 

My husband asked me on New Years Eve if I had any regrets over the past year. And, without really taking time to think about it I said, "No, I don't." 

Wow. This quick answer surprised me a little. Don't we all have regrets? Oh yes, we do. But, when I think about the past year, I can honestly say I did my best in many ways.....with my self care, relationships, boundaries, general health, marriage, parenting (adults). 

What a blessing it was to say that I had no regrets about 2015. That is the grace of God.



2.  dare greatly. 

By now, if you've read my blog for very long, you might know that I'm a huge fan of Dr. Brene Brown's work on shame resilience and vulnerability and being brave.

In April I went to NYC to meet a group of seven gals that I met online through the Brene Brown e-course, The Gifts of Imperfection. 

It was a risk! I was afraid to fly alone. I'd never flown somewhere totally alone. I'd never hailed a taxi. But, I did these things and it was huge. These women mean so much to me, each one with her unique personality and gifts. 
What a blessing that trip was in so many ways. I dared greatly!



3.  release.

Sometime last early spring, our 22 year old daughter, who had a part-time advertising job and was living with us, declared to us that she wanted to go to England for one year. Gulp! 

She has always had a soft spot for England. Probably spurred on by Dr. Who and Harry Potter. Thanks a lot, guys!!  So, she found a Gap Year program through UKUSA and Youth for Christ, where she'd go and live with a host family for a year. She had to raise the funds. She had to get a passport and a volunteer visa. She did. all. the. steps. and she left August 28th. 

I had a few months to get prepared for this idea. But, at first, honestly, I didn't think it would really happen. Really? But, it did, and it is. She's been there for four months now. She's learned all kinds of English words for things like "dust bin" instead of "trash can". She's met some very kind and loving folks and she's gotten to minister to youth at the church she's assigned to. She's also a TA in two different schools and works in a variety of classrooms. 

God is giving me the grace to release this girl, my youngest, into her calling. And, she's brave. And she loves Jesus. And, she's sharing her gifts. This mom couldn't be more proud.

Right after Thanksgiving our son, who lived with us for awhile after graduating from college to save money, moved out into his own apartment. Another opportunity to release. 

I released him to college. Now, I release him into his new life in his own studio right in the middle of downtown. 

Release is a good word.



4.  patience with self.

A year ago and more, I was all 'gung ho' about downsizing to a much smaller house. You know, simplifying. I was looking forward to an older home with gleaming wood floors, fresh gray on the walls, white trim. A lovely, park-like yard. 

For several years I'd been hungering for "new". New to me that is. 

But, I discovered so much mental and emotional blocks during the aftermath of the move and really for the whole year. 

Not as many walls to hang my things. My wall things didn't seem to go in this house. I felt like my creative confidence in making this house a home had gotten left in the last house (that I was more than ready to leave). 

I couldn't understand this and for months silently chastised myself for not getting curtains made (some still aren't) and for not hanging things on the walls. 

But, sometime in the Fall, I decided that my soul needed to do some work somehow before these things could easily fall into place in this new space. 

I've given myself permission to go at a slow and steady pace and it's made all the difference.



5.  art, imperfection, curiosity and permission.

Last March I took a three part acrylic painting class at my church. I invited my mom to take it with me. 

I remember the first night. The instructor said, "just do whatever." Are you kidding me!!? Do you know how intimidating and terrifying it is to look at a blank canvas having never done any "real" painting and being told "just start". 

It was a little maddening, and when I look at the pic on my phone of my first brave try at mixing some colors, it's a literal mess. 

Then, I took a Kelly Rae Roberts online class on mixed media painting. I wrote about this in an earlier post, but the first time she wanted us to paint with our hands I got emotional. It's like I had to give myself permission to make a mess with paint! 

I can't begin to tell you the lessons I've gained from beginning to paint regularly. Imperfection is encouraged, not shunned, stay curious, give yourself lots of permission. These are huge lessons both on and off the canvas!



6. birds and wildlife bring joy.

Right outside the window where I sit and drink tea each morning are three bird feeders and a bird bath. Sitting in silence watching the birds come to eat and bathe is a ritual for me. 

Watching them brings joy and a smile to my face. Their freedom and trust encourage me. I'm so glad I take the time to sit in silence and see who'll stop by on any given morning.

I even enjoy the squirrels who try to steal the birdseed and the occasional stealth deer at night that comes by for a snack.



7.  seasons.

I've been reminded in 2015 that things, events and people may be for a season. When the season is over, I need to proceed without judgement or regret into the next one, letting the curtain drop behind me as I go. It's only in letting go that I can take hold of what's next.


Blessings to you, friends, in this brand new year!

Love,

Anne

{Day 13}: journaling 101

I was eighteen when I started my first journal. Oh, I had written down other things before that, like starting two or three diaries and never finishing them.

Remember those, with the lock and key on them? Nope. Never could stick with those. 

Instead, I began journaling in earnest in my eighteenth year after going through a deep heartbreak.

I bought a 5 x 7 three ring binder. I found some blue quilted fabric with flowers on it in my mom's sewing stash, and some white eyelet trim. I covered that three ring binder by laying it out on the fabric and cutting carefully around it to make it fit just right. I sewed the eyelet lace and fabric around the binder by hand. 

My first journal. 

I made it mainly for writing my prayers and thoughts down. I wasn't told I "should" do this (then, I likely wouldn't have done it!), or that it would deepen my relationship with God or improve my mental health if I kept a journal. This was something that a little voice inside of me said would be a good idea. I've never looked back. 

Writing down prayers and thoughts has been a life-line for my soul. It's truly been a soul spa that I've turned to on a mostly daily basis to clear the soul clutter, pray or just sort out my feelings.

Often, just sitting down with pen and journal and writing out my emotions on a particular issue, the answer will somehow make itself known to me as I'm writing.  

It's like writing down my thoughts and feelings is the key that unlocks answers to my questions.  Often it is a great catalyst to problem solving.

Writing down my prayers helps me stay focused. It also provides a record of prayers, questions, and problems I needed answers to. I've been able to go back days, months, even years later and see how those things have been answered. And, thankfully, I've been able to see how I've grown and changed over the years as I've learned a few things. :)

Maybe you're saying to yourself, "I just can't journal. I've tried. It's not for me." Maybe, you're right. Maybe this isn't for you. 

What about writing down three things a day that you're grateful for? Even that is a spa for your soul as you take a few moments to focus on the good.

Thanks for joining me today, friends!

~Anne

Today is Day 13 of 31 Days of Soul Spas. I'm so glad you've joined me, or even if you're just popping in to see what this is all about, Welcome! You can head over to my first post in this series to get a list of all Soul Spa posts!

Writing for the month of October with a tribe of writers. We all picked our own topic and they can all be found over at write31days.com.

{Day 12}: faith for your soul

It would be a huge mistake for me to go through all month of Soul Spa posts and not tell you about the Best Soul Spa I've ever had, and it's been a life-long journey.

It began in second grade when I went with a friend to a girls Bible club. I was visiting that day, and the leaders explained to my group about God's love for us and how Jesus died on the cross for our sins and shortcomings. Even at the young age of 8 years old, I knew about Jesus because my parents had taken me to church since I was a little girl.

But, I'd never made my belief in Jesus a personal one. Somehow, I knew I needed to. I needed to receive Jesus' love for myself and tell Him I agreed with Him about the bad things I'd done or thought. (I'm sure the time I had "borrowed" my cousin's Barbie's outfit came to mind.)

That day in 2nd grade, I asked Jesus to come into my life, (my soul) and stay. I told Him I believed in His death on the cross for me. And, I also believed that He had risen from the dead (in real life) about two thousand years ago.

Life didn't magically become perfect for me. Following Jesus doesn't guarantee a perfect life, but it does guarantee He'll always be with us. Always.

I still experienced heartache and wounds. I knew in my heart I was never alone, though. That Jesus was always with me.

I can't even tell you how many times I've gone through a low spot, or even a storm in my life, where God has been with me, strengthening me and giving me grace to get through it. He's restored my broken heart countless times and helped me to forgive time and time again.

God restores my soul.
He satisfies my spiritual thirst and hunger with His love.

His promises are true and trustworthy.
He's proved it in my life over and over again.

Tomorrow, I'll share a way that I deepened my relationship with God when I was eighteen. And, I've never looked back.



Do you have a personal relationship with God? Would you like to?
Have you felt the restoration of soul that the scriptures in this post talk about?

I'd love to hear your story in the comments, or if you have any questions about this step of faith, please ask in the comments or write your email in the comments and I will help in any way I can.

Blessings and love to you, friends,

~Anne

Thanks for joining me for 31 Days of Soul Spas! Today is Day 12! Please go here to see a list of all the posts this month so far! 

This post is part of #write31days for the whole month of October. Check out write31days.com if you are interested to learn more!

{Day 11}: soul space to remember the good

I'm not sure why, but Sundays bring back family memories for me. Especially in the Fall. Memories from growing up.

I grew up on a farm in Nebraska, and on Sundays my family would get up, rush around like crazy people, drive the eight miles into town to go to church. Then, sometimes we'd come home to the roast, potatoes and carrots in the oven for Sunday Dinner, but usually we'd drive somewhere and go out together as a family.

Sundays were lazy days back then. Dad would be watching football, mom did too, and us kids all did our own thing and tried not to pick on each other too much.

My Dad relaxing. Probably on a Sunday afternoon

It's not that I"m a huge football fan, I'm not. But to this day if my husband turns on a game on the weekends, I have this strange sense of peace and comfort.

Hearing the sound of a football game on TV reminds me of my dad sitting in his recliner on Sundays with a cup of coffee in his hand. He was a full-blooded Swede after all.

Dad was a farmer, so he worked long hours during the week and on Saturdays--(sometimes before sun up and usually to sundown), but he always took Sundays off for rest. The Sabbath rest was something Dad made a priority and I admire him for that. I know he needed it, and it set a good example for me as a child.

It does my soul good to recall these memories from my past. 

These good memories. 

I think slowing down my own pace on Sunday allows the mental space to remember the good things.

How about you? Do you take a day a week to rest, or create some mental space for your soul? 

Blessings and soul rest on your Sunday, friends!

~Anne

This post is part of a 31 day series called 31 Days of Soul Spas. I'm linked up with 100's of other bloggers over at write31days.com for the month of October. Each person has picked their own topic to share for 31 days. 

Check out my first post for a list of all of this month's posts! Thanks for joining me on this journey!

{Day 10}: Keeping a curious soul

My husband is one of the most curious people I know, and my young adult children are a close second. My husband has loved libraries since he was a young boy when his mom would take he and his siblings to the book mobile down the street. He would check out a few books, sit down on the grass and read them and then check out different ones before they would go home.

He still loves to read and goes to the library to read the paper and check out books at least once a week, if not more. He reads books about business, innovation, Science Fiction, WWII, presidential biographies and more.

I read books too, but he puts me to shame! (not on purpose, it's just a fact!)

hubby's library run

To be completely fair, though, some books he just reads the first few pages and if it doesn't capture his attention fully, he'll grab another one from his stack. 

His latest library trek was yesterday, and he came home with two Sci Fi, one business book and a book on story telling. 

On my last library visit, I checked out two books I could look through fairly quickly in an evening because I'm doing quite a bit of writing this month :) and I started another online painting course.

my library run

But, I want to keep a curious soul. I want to always be a learner and have an open mind and heart to what is new. This is a process for me. A life long journey.

Curiosity keeps me learning about creativity, my own life, and the lives of others.

How about you? How do you cultivate a curious soul?

Thanks for joining me today on this 10th Day of Soul Spa posts! I hope you are enjoying these and finding things that tend your soul. Check out the first post in the series for a list of all the posts for this month.

Blessings to you!

~Anne

{Day 9}: Your creative soul {Part 2}

"If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, 

sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing--it doesn't matter. 

As long as we're creating, we're cultivating meaning." 

~Brene Brown

As I talked about yesterday in part 1, when we want to unleash our creative souls, we encounter obstacles. Putting pen to paper or brush to canvas (or any creative work) is like having to push a huge boulder of opposition out of the way first. 

It's like a mental and emotional workout to push that opposition out of the way, so the creative spirit can come to the surface and then come out.

"Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared."

~Brene Brown

My self talk growing up was, "Never make mistakes! That way everyone will be happy with you! You must keep everyone happy all the time!"

Loud gremlins that were allowed their way in my mind, heart and soul for too long!

My soul was whispering that it wanted to create, but was afraid to show itself for fear of getting hurt.

I took a Kelly Rae Roberts online mixed media class (kellyraeroberts.com) that has changed that self talk into something more positive.

Kelly Rae had us do journaling (soul work) before even getting the paints out. I was frustrated at first, because I thought, "why not just get started painting?" But, tears surfaced during the journaling session. I think because the soul work touched someplace deep inside of me that needed attention. That place that had been afraid to show itself.

I needed affirmation and encouragement that I was worthy of this work. I was worthy of learning new things on and off the canvas. I was worthy of peeking inside to see what my heart was whispering. The whispers that were longing to be shared with the world.

During journaling for that class, my inner wisdom spoke up and said,

"Enough!"

"Enough of the gremlins shouting you're not good enough!"

"Enough of comparison being a thief to the joy of creating!"

"Enough!"

I remember the day I started to paint. Kelly Rae had us get paint on our hands and smoosh it around on the canvas haphazardly.

I cried.

I couldn't believe the feeling of freedom and permission I felt as I put my fingers in the paint.

The comparison gremlins quieted. The perfection gremlins were silenced.

Suddenly I felt free to let little Anne, the creative girl inside of me, out to play, to explore, to be curious and to have fun.

Painting has released a playful spirit in me and has given me permission to make mistakes, something I've never allowed myself to do.

Creating with words and paint has made those gremlins crumble.

They're shrinking and being silenced by my intentional creativity.

How about you? Is there something that you've always longed to do, but are afraid to try? Have you tried something new to you and felt renewed freedom to be yourself, and a renewed playful spirit (and soul)? 

I'd love to hear from you in the comments!

Blessings to you today, friend!

~Anne

Thanks for stopping by today on the 9th Day of my Soul Spa Series. Please go here for a list of all Soul Spa posts this month! 

Joining up with 100's of bloggers for the month of October. We've each picked a unique topic. It's worth a stop at write31days.com to see what it's all about!