Chubby cheeks and baby dreams

I'm once again linking up with Five Minute Friday. The prompt today is "laundry". Come on over to Lisa Jo Baker's blog and join in!

Chubby cheek against mine.

Chubby hand in my hand.

He's perched in my arms on the washer. 

Lid open.

Swish, swish, swish go the clothes.

Warm dryer running next to us.

Baby eyes are transfixed on the clothes going round and round in the suds.

The hum of the washer is luring us both into a sacred bond. 

Together.

Mother and son.

*******************************

Why is laundry so comforting at times? I still find comfort in the hum and swish of the wash. But, agitation at the buzz of the dryer.

Don't remind me that my work is never done.

********************************

Keep me right there, 

cheek to cheek at the washer with this memory.

Baby eyes and mine.

Baby hands in my hand.

Heart to heart we stare into the suds and dream mommy and baby dreams.

Free to Fly--Dare to be creative {Day 17}

Okay, before you sit down, grab a cup of tea for this one. 

About seven years ago, I was inspired to write this short story because a coffee shop here in town called Cafe Diem hosted a short story contest. The requirement for the short story, was that it had to have a coffee shop included in it. 

I decided that I would share my coffee shop short story with you today, because I dared to be creative and to try my hand at a fictional story. 

I especially like allegories, which are fictional but contain elements of truth. I hope you enjoy my allegory short story called, Free to Fly.

**********************************************************************************************************************************

Bella sleepily opened her tiny, black eyes as she inhaled the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Thin rays of sunlight were streaming in through the wavy glass and across the edge of her nest perched on the highest beam of the old post office turned The Daily Grind.

On this day, as she awoke in her nest, the coffee shop was abuzz with busy commuters, overworked mothers, and the regular group of wise cracking old men arriving for their daily round of hot steamy stuff and conversation.

**********************

Bella grudgingly went about tidying up her nest. She found herself in the same old downward spiral. The past few months she had been especially frustrated with Sam, and was lamenting son Jeremy flying away to a nest of his own. 

Sam’s friendship had come as a sweet surprise to her when they had first met. Even even way back then, though, Bella had noticed a small brown backpack on her sparrow mate’s feathered back and had asked Sam about it.

Sam was strangely unaware of it, and thought it odd that Bella would make this thing up just to tease him. She decided not to press the issue. 

***********************

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the tiny bell that rang signaling a new customer at the shop. Coffee sippers looked up from their morning papers as the old wooden door creaked open.

Bella was used to seeing humans. She had perched herself for quite some time in this coffee shop and was used to getting a bird’s eye view of the customers streaming through the door.

But, this customer was different.

He was unlike any human she had seen before--almost other worldly. What caught her attention were his eyes. 

They were the most gentle, caring eyes she had ever seen on a human.

As he strolled up to the counter the man spoke,

I’ll have a café’ mocha, please. 

There was nothing odd about this menu choice, but it was his voice! Bella thought it sounded like a bubbling brook!

Bella felt conflicted. Safety of the nest, or satisfy her curiosity and get a closer look at this new customer? She felt something wooing her to perch near this man.

Throwing caution to the wind, she lifted her wings and silently descended from the beam and landed softly on the far back corner of the espresso machine. 

Had her movement been noticed by this man? She was timid, but curious.

As he turned to find an open chair with his cup in hand, the man glimpsed a flutter of movement behind the counter. Bella knew she had been seen, but she was not afraid anymore. 

The man stretched out his scarred, but strong hand and said to Bella,

 Come here, Little One. 

Bella thought it very peculiar that this man would focus attention on one as small and plain as she, but she flew to his outstretched hand.

After alighting on his finger, he carried her, and the coffee in his other hand and sat down at a table by the window. 

He spoke gently, introducing himself as the Master Grounds Keeper. 

He told her he was the owner of The Daily Grind and that he was also the owner of the cattle on a thousand hills. Bella thought the part about the cattle to be quite strange, but he spoke with care, and with such authority. 

He told her he knew how sad she had been in recent months.

 Bella, he softly spoke, I know about Sam’s backpack and I want to explain it to you.

You see, he said, Sam has been carrying around this pack of hurts on his back ever since he was a small chick. 

The heavier Sam’s pack has become, the more he has wanted to hide.

But, he came to visit me early this morning. I guess he had heard me talking with other folks here in The Daily Grind and felt he could try to trust someone with his pain. 

As Sam continued to share his troubles with me, I lifted his backpack from his back. In return, 

I gave him something that will remain under his wing and close to his heart forever.

He is free from pain now, Bella.

The mysterious and kind man took a sip from his steaming cup.

Finally, Bella put words to her pondering heart and dared to ask,

What is it that you gave him for under his wing?

The Master spoke, It is a token of my love for him that will be with him until the end of time. 

Can I have this token too?, Bella asked with eyes glistening. 

The Master replied, My dear Bella, my token has been with you, under your wing and close to your heart since you were a baby chick. This promise of my love has helped you bear burdens of sorrow, worry and pain for all of these years.

This backpack of your own hurts has kept you from fully recognizing my token of love for you. 

With that said, the Master Grounds Keeper reached down with his scarred, rugged but gentle hand and lifted the heavy burden that had been on Bella’s shoulders for so long. 

Bella instantly felt as light as a feather! She felt free! How could she have not been aware of this backpack on her own shoulders?

Thank you, Bella chirped. 

The Master took one last sip from his mocha and smiled a wide, kind smile.

You are so welcome, my dear Bella. 

As soon as he spoke these words, Bella lifted off of his finger and glided effortlessly toward her nest. There Sam was awaiting her return, eager to share with her his new found freedom from the weight of his own backpack. 

Now both free of their heavy burdens, Sam looked at Bella and said,

Let’s fly.

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"Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God." 

Luke 12:6

 "The bird also has found a house, And the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, Even Your altars, O Lord of hosts, My King and my God."

Psalm 84:3

 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

“For every beast of the forest is Mine, The cattle on a thousand hills." 

Psalm 50:10

How do you like to unleash your creativity? Is it writing? Drawing? Acting? Other?

I'd love to hear in the comments!

Click on my button to see a list of all 31 Days posts! Thanks for reading!

Dare to show self-compassion Part 2 {Day 16}

Welcome to my second installment on my need to have self-compassion! Two lessons in one week? I wonder Who might be wanting to tell me something??



Monday. I stop in Barnes and Noble parking lot and I think, before I go in, I'll just take care of a couple of phone calls.

I shut the car off, and probably make calls for about 30 minutes. When I go to pull the key out of the ignition and hit the electric lock, NOTHING. 

Absolutely no power. 

So, I try to start the car. NOTHING. It didn't even turn over! Then, I notice the reason why. 

I had sat in the parking lot for at least 30 minutes with my lights still on!! 

Another dumb mistake.


After calling my husband to whine and try to decide what to do, I go into Barnes and Noble to look around for a guy that looks like he might have jumper cables in his vehicle and who also looks like he knows how to hook them up. 

I have no clue.

I actually am brave enough to approach four different guys and ask them. I am lucky they didn't look at me cross-eyed and think lady, this is a bookstore! What are you thinking?

I was proud of myself for that courage. I actually chose to dare myself into trying this step before asking my husband to drive 45 minutes to come and get me.

I guess no one takes their jumper cables with them when they shop for books, because no one had them. 

So, there I was. 

I felt pretty embarrassed about this, even with my husband. I had to humble myself and call him back. He said,

"Well, do you want to sit there until 4:30 and wait for me to come after work? Or do you want me to come now?"

So, again, he left work in the middle of the day to come and rescue me. 

No harsh words. No judgement. Just grace. And, help in time of need. I love him.

Kevin in a Washington St. rain forest 2011

I'm used to being pretty self sufficient. I don't want to "need" anything from anyone. I don't want to put people out. For anything. I don't want to be needy.


But, at times, I need things. I need help. I am not always self-sufficient. 

I think God might be holding up a mirror to me, about me. To remind me.

I don't ever want to take for granted the grace and compassion I am shown by others when I need it. Likewise, I want to remember not to be too harsh with myself either. 

I can show myself some compassion, and remind myself that I am part of the human race and everyone makes mistakes. 

Click on my button to see a list of all 31 Days posts. Thanks for stopping by!

Dare to show self-compassion {Day 15}

This has been an EGR week for Anne. Extra grace required. 

I have definitely needed extra grace from my husband. Twice in the span of three days, he has had to leave work to rescue me.


I've also had to show myself some grace and to remember that I am not perfect. I make dumb mistakes (notice I didn't call myself dumb...). 

I never will be perfect.


Last Friday, by the time I got to my husband's work to pick him up for lunch, not only was I dizzy for some reason, but I was anxious about being dizzy, and not at all feeling like eating any lunch. 

Instead, I asked him if he would drive me somewhere to pick up some over the counter meds for the dizziness. 

I didn't think I should drive myself the 30 miles back home, but I didn't feel well. I didn't want my husband to miss work in the afternoon because of my needs. 

I was a mess. I was fighting self-condemnation.

He was sweet about it all. He gathered his laptop from work and drove me home. 

I needed his grace. I needed self-compassion from me, too.


Is it difficult for you to let go of being perfect and instead, to embrace self-compassion for your weaknesses?

*Come back tomorrow for Self-compassion Part 2.*

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Dare to Be: You--likes, dislikes and all {Day 14}

I've had to give myself permission to have likes, dislikes and opinions. (I referred to this in Day 10). I know it sounds crazy, but because of the circumstances when I was little, plus my personality, I was compelled to please and keep my voice quiet.

Today, I thought I'd tell you some of my likes and dislikes in no particular order. I'm thinking of this as a training exercise because for me to disclose things about myself is a stretch. 

I'm daring myself to disclose, but even these are pretty tame.

1. I drink tea every morning. I used to be intimidated to brew loose tea, (it seemed so complicated) but I got my little red teapot with a tea strainer for Christmas a few years ago and I learned that it's not a big deal at all. And, I learned that I love it.

2. Gong Fu tea is my go-to right now, and I probably spend too much money on it. My daily morning tea is Dalai's Daily. 

3.  I don't like talking politics, so if one of those conversations comes up, I'll more than likely sit it out.

4. I don't listen to a lot of music. I'm not one of these people who has a huge playlist. I am content to listen to Phillips, Craig and Dean worship music, Josh Groban or Michael Buble. I like some acoustic music, too, but right now don't listen to a lot of different kinds or artists. Mostly, I like quiet.

5.  I grew up having a dog on the farm. I would love one again, but this is one thing that has been non-negotiable in our marriage. :) So, about three years ago, I got a canary. I wanted "someone" to sing to me when my kids all left the nest. I named him Gideon. And, he is a beautiful singer.

6.  I'm always reading more than one book at once. Right now I am reading A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman, and Centering Prayer by Cynthia Bourgeault. I prefer non-fiction to fiction any day. There's too much to learn!

7.  I don't like to cook. Cooking is a necessary evil because I have to eat, but I'd much rather go out! (I'm trying to change this view, however, because I know what is healthiest for my body and my budget.)

What about you? Has it ever been difficult for you to disclose yourself to others? Does it feel safe? I'd love to hear from you!

Click on my button for a list of all 31 Days posts. Thanks for stopping by!

  

Dare to Be: not knowing all the answers {Day 13}

This post is part of a 31 Day series on the topic Dare to Be and linking up with about 1500 other bloggers on hundreds of topics. Come on over to The Nester to check that out!

What do you do when you see someone in your circle of friends or family who is hurting physically, emotionally or spiritually? 

You want to help that someone who is hurting. But, there is a huge difference between helping someone and rescuing them. 

Helping them would be if you see them drowning that you throw them a lifeline. You wouldn't just stand on shore and watch them drown, would you? 

But, to rescue someone means that I try to protect them from the consequences of their own choices. That is not my job. If I try to protect someone from the consequences of their own choices I am being co-dependent with them. And, I am not helping them at all. I am probably going to make things worse for them. And, for me.

Sometimes, I admit, it is hard to know the difference.



Since I just read Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, several things she said come into mind.

According to Brene Brown there are three irreducible needs of human beings. Those are:

1) to be seen and loved 
2) to belong 
3) to be brave 

So, my question is, how can I, as a friend, wife, mom, daughter help those within my circle of influence to be seen and loved, to feel like they belong and to help them understand that they are brave? 

Those are things I would do if I can figure out how to do it.

If I'm being a catalyst for any of those three things, I am helping. Not rescuing. I am throwing out that lifeline that says,

"Hey, I see you. I see what you are going through and I care. 

You belong in my world. You belong here. Don't ever think that you don't belong here. Also, you belong in God's family, too. And, He loves you more than you can imagine.

I want you to know that I think you are one of the bravest people I know. I've seen what you've been through. I see what struggles you've had in the past and the struggles that you currently have and only the bravest could survive such struggle. You are brave."

This is what I want to say to those in my inner circles. Those whom God puts in my path.

I fall far short of where I want to be with this. But, this is my heart. 

This is my learning curve with God.

I want to be His mouthpiece, 

and even if it takes all of what I have within me to dare those words out of my mouth, or through a pen down onto paper, I want to use up every last ounce of energy to do it. 

And, you, my friend? I want to say it to you, too.

You are loved.
You belong.
You are brave.

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Dare to Be: Brave, plus a question {Day 12}

This post is part of a 31 Day series on the topic Dare to Be and linking up with about 1500 other bloggers on hundreds of topics. Come on over to The Nester to check that out!

We were born to be brave.

~Brene Brown

The two blondes in spandex are staring at my husband and me from behind the desk. No hi's or welcomes. Just blank stares.  I've squeezed into my yoga pants and an large ISU t-shirt, but I still feel out of place and that all eyes are on me.

My son and daughter in law have lovingly penciled out a workout for us. It's down on the paper he clutches in his hand as we enter the center. And, I've been saying that this is what I need for months now.

As usual, I feel like the opinions and judgements are flowing like ESPN between the two blondes. "What are they doing here? They look stupid!" (they, of course, may not be thinking either of these things, but these are my tapes playing.)

This isn't my first step into a fitness facility, but it's been about five years since I quit my last one. My six foot one son who's been at this fitness thing since college has finally gotten his parents to give this a shot, so he's standing between us at the counter.

"I'm here to sign these two up for a week trial." he says to the blondes.

The blondes blink back, mumble something between them. One of them finally reaches for the forms.This is so awkward. I'm ready to bolt back to my mini van and scratch the whole thing.

I was afraid this would happen because it's happened before. This is one of my things. One of the things I hate. Walking into unknown situations. Situations where I feel ill-equipped, or like a misfit. 

But, I say to myself I can do this.

Before us, the room is fairly empty (thank you, God) except for the tattooed body builder who looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. After that I see a senior citizen gentleman doing crunches on the floor, and an overweight lady with a red t-shirt on the treadmill.

Thank you, God, again. Thank you for normal people like me.

You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort but you can't have both.

~Brene Brown

    It took being brave for me to step into this fitness center after being away for five years.

It took bravery for my husband to step into this having never done anything like this before in his entire life. 

According to Brene Brown, we dared greatly by signing up for a week trial at a fitness center.


Maybe daring greatly looks different for you. Maybe daring greatly is signing up for classes at a university. Maybe it is trying out a new recipe on your in laws. Maybe it is to climb Mount Everest.

The point is, you were made to be brave. And so was I. 


Today, I'm asking you if you'd like to share one thing you've done in the last week that you would consider being brave, or daring greatly.

Mine was stepping foot into an intimidating fitness center. Tell me yours in the comments. I'd love to hear how you are daring yourself to be brave!

*quotations are from the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Click on my button for a list of all 31 Days posts! Thanks for stopping by!

Also linking up with The Weekend Brew!