When you might need eight tissues

This is the first time I've been 'brave' enough to join in with the 5 Minute Friday group at lisajobaker.com. This week the prompt is the word, "brave".

The idea is to write for five minutes straight, unedited. Just raw words. Here is what I wrote today. Head over to Lisa's blog to join in!

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GO:

I picked up my pen and grabbed my notebook. Experience tells me that this neck pain is not from a physical or structural cause. It is from negative emotions. I start to write about whatever comes into my head. My lack of good, consistent sleep, blah, blah. 

Then, I start to hit on something deeper. Some feelings that are very hurt. Some feelings that my sub-conscious has been holding onto for while. This time, just a short week or so, but long enough. As I write these feelings down, unedited, I start to sob. I sob so hard that my stomach aches into a tight knot. Before I know it, I’ve used up my napkin from breakfast and eight tissues to mop up the tears.

Why did I not realize that my body was holding on to all of these negative emotions? I kept writing and sobbing and before I knew it, forty five minutes went by.

I could feel guilty for holding on to these emotions.

I could put that on myself. 

But, I didn’t even know that I was doing it!

I’m choosing this time to let myself off the hook and instead embrace my inner self for being able to tap into these feelings and release them. I tell myself, “Anne, you are a brave soul to look deep inside at the pain and write it down. You are brave and I’m for you.”

As my pen layed down on the page, my pain lifted. I’m free.

STOP.