When you come in dead last

When they all started talking and getting excited about Fun Day, I started dreading it. It was a day planned in the spring at our city park for a picnic for my whole country school, grades K-8, and other country schools in the area. 

Picnic at the park, food provided. Lovely.

But then, it came time for the "fun" part of the day. We were all transported to the high school track. There were bleachers there for the teachers and parents who wanted to come and watch. And for us students who were either awaiting our turn or watching other runners.

And then, it was time for the running races to begin. 
We weren't given a choice whether we would run in these races or not. 

It was just planned. It was "Fun Day" after all, and aren't running races fun?

Not for this chubby, not-an-athletic-bone-in-her-body girl.

Kindergarteners went first. Groups of eight to ten kids would stand at the starting line and wait for the word "Go!" and then they'd be off!!

I dreaded when my class was up next.

The reason I dreaded Fun Day is because I always came in dead last. 

Every year, I knew. I would come in dead last.

Each year at Fun Day, I felt shame for coming in dead last.
I don't remember anyone saying anything to me about it, either good or bad. Dead last racers usually aren't recognized. 

Maybe my teacher said, "good job".

But, it was humiliating to come in dead last in the race every year. And, by dead last I mean I was a good ten feet away from the person in front of me. 


If I could go back to my childhood self I'd have a few things to say to this lovely girl. 

I'd say, 

 Your worth isn't based on where you come in in the running race. You are valuable whether you can run fast or not. 

I would make sure she knew that she was brave for getting out there on the starting line in the first place. She was brave for facing her fear of coming in dead 
last. 

I would tell her,

I'm so proud of you for showing up, being brave, starting and finishing this race. It's not about winning! It's about showing up and being your brave beautiful self!

This is what I want to tell you today, friend.

In the race of life, if you feel like you always come in dead last, don't let that get to your heart. I want you to know you are brave for showing up. Brave for starting and brave for being your own unique beautiful self! 

Blessings to you today friend,

~Anne

I'm linking up today with other lovely writers at Coffee for Your Heart and Three Word Wednesday.