Friday, September 14, 2012

Letter to Teenage Me

Emily Freeman over at has invited anyone who wants to write a letter to their teenage self to do so, and link up to her site. She is an awesome author who has just released a book for teenage girls called Graceful (  I read Emily's book, Grace For the Good Girl, and it was such an encouragement to me. I can't recommend it highly enough for those of you who always feel you need to be perfect in order to be acceptable. Here is my letter to teenage me.

Dear Teenage Anne,

Ever since I can remember, you've felt like you had to be this perfect, grown up self. Always pleasing everyone around you to the point of really becoming Chameleon Girl to keep people around you happy. I'm here to take some of that pressure off. You're about sick to death of people telling you what you can and can't do, even to the point of what you like and don't like. I'm here to tell you, it's okay to be YOU. 

Yes, everyone around you has expectations for how "Anne" should be. It's going to be that way into your adulthood. I'm going to try not to just inundate you with more advice. What I want to do is just remind you who you already are, and to remind you to celebrate that as much as you can.

* * * * * * * * *

When mom and dad divorced when you were six, you had to grow up pretty fast. You had a default setting to act older than you really were. You couldn't help it. In some respects, it was expected of you. You had to watch over little brother when migrating between states for parental visitations. This was kind of scary sometimes, but you did it, and you did it well. I am so proud of you. 

God wired you to be highly sensitive. Yes, that is a "type" of personality. It is an honor really, because it makes you very sensitive to the feelings of others. You grow up to be a real encourager. However, the downside is that you need to be able to be alone sometimes, and well, you don't get much of that. Consequently, you are under stress lots of times with no outlets. I am sorry for that, dear Anne. I want to tell you that it is okay to want to be alone sometimes. Take that some way, some how, if you can. Your 49 year old body will thank you for learning self-care at a younger age. I know, though, how hard it is to find your true assert yourself for what you really need. You will learn that along the way though. 

You worry a lot about goofing up. It's okay to make mistakes. Everyone does. No one is perfect, even though lots of people around you put on the "perfection masks" around you to try to make you think they are perfect. Don't buy into that lie. We all learn from our mistakes. God causes all things to work together for your good anyway. (Romans 8:28). 

Bottom line, my friend? You are beautiful inside and out. 

It's good and okay for you to want to be alone. For you to have your own opinions, likes, dislikes from everyone else. God created you to be Anne, not a carbon copy of someone else. 

You have a tender heart which is precious to God. Keep it tender. Seek after Him with your whole heart. When you are seventeen, a boy who you thought you loved will break your heart. You will turn to God because He is really the only One you have. You will feel like no one else understands your deep feelings of alone-ness, abandonment and rejection like He does. He will get you through, my friend. He becomes a very close Companion to see you through the good days and not so good days of your future life. Cling to Him, Anne. His love satisfies and will not ever fail you. 

As far as the man you marry that you are so concerned about not finding? You meet him right after the romance gone bad, and after the lowest point you've been yet. You will see later that God used that broken romance to turn your heart completely to Him.

I'm not going go into every detail about your future life. Just know that as you trust God, He is always there. He sees every one of your tears. He brings you many joys. He loves. He cares. 

I want you to know that I love you and I approve of all you are and all you will become.

I'll be here if you need me.

Love, 40-Something Me


About ten years ago, I joined a class called Christ Life Solutions (now renamed The Ultimate Journey During the twelve sessions, we wrote letters back and forth to our younger selves to basically go back and rescue the child we used to be. If you are in need of healing from your past, I highly recommend this class.


  1. Beautiful! I identify with so much of what you said to your young self. So much fun to read the letters from the other writers posting on Chatting at the Sky. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Sonja, thank you! Believe it or not, I read yours last night. I only had time to read a couple of them and out of over 200, I chose yours. Hmmm....I could relate to your story as well. Very interesting. God works in mysterious (and sometimes not so mysterious) ways!. I loved participating in this! Thank YOU for sharing as well!


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