Tuesday, October 6, 2015

{Day 6}: do your soul a favor

What do you do when you get offended?

A.  stuff it and pretend it didn't happen, and put on a fake smile

B.  blow up at the person who offended you and have a ton of regret later that      you lost control

C. forgive them

D. stuff it or blow up, but later forgive them. :)

Ever since I can recall, I've worn my heart on my sleeve. The plus side to this is an increased empathy quotient. The downside is with heart on sleeve, heart gets pricked often. 

Sometimes it's just a scrape and sometimes it's a gusher.

What to do?

I've read a lot about forgiveness. What it is and what it isn't. 

It isn't just being a doormat and letting other people run over you all the time and hurt you over and over again.
It isn't forgetting what happened.

But, forgiveness is like taking the stinger out. 
It's for you, the offended, more than for the offender.

It takes the emotional charge out of the memory that hurts.  

Forgiveness, for me, usually happens gradually and not all at once.
It begins with a decision and usually a written or verbal statement (to myself), "I forgive_____________ for __________."

Usually it takes awhile for my feelings to catch up with my decision to forgive. I think this is normal. And, depending on how badly you were hurt, it could take longer.

Someone cuts you off in traffic vs. a deep childhood trauma that changed the trajectory of your life.

Much of what I've learned about forgiveness has come from author, Joyce Meyer, who is also a worldwide speaker and teacher. In one of her talks she talks about how to get over offense. 

She admitted to times where she wanted to get revenge, but knew that wasn't productive, nor healthy for her to do so.

How to get rid of the offense then?

One of the ways she's found is to give a gift to the one who offended her. The thought behind that is, how can you stay angry at someone whom you've given a gift to? 

It has worked for her several times

And, it's worked for me. (that's not the only reason I give gifts though!)

Something in my soul is softened when a gift is given in the place of hurt.

It's like the offense can't stay lodged in my spirit and soul.

Giving leads to forgiving, leads to love, leads to freedom of soul and spirit, 
leads to peace.

Next time you're at one of those gift card kiosks, pick up a couple Starbucks cards. You never know when you might need one to heal the hurt in your soul.

What do you think about this? Have you ever given a gift to one who has hurt you? How do you deal with offense? 

Blessings to you today, friend.


P.S. I realize that this may not be the best way to deal with offense for everyone. But, it is certainly a way that has helped me forgive.

Thanks for joining me today for Day 6 of 31 Days of Soul Spas! I'm so glad you did! Hop on over here to see a list of all 31 Days of posts so far!

Joining with 100's of bloggers over at write31days.com for the month of October. Lots of themes to choose from! Head on over there to see for yourself!

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