Sunday, October 13, 2013

Dare to Be: not knowing all the answers {Day 13}

This post is part of a 31 Day series on the topic Dare to Be and linking up with about 1500 other bloggers on hundreds of topics. Come on over to The Nester to check that out!

What do you do when you see someone in your circle of friends or family who is hurting physically, emotionally or spiritually? 

You want to help that someone who is hurting. But, there is a huge difference between helping someone and rescuing them. 

Helping them would be if you see them drowning that you throw them a lifeline. You wouldn't just stand on shore and watch them drown, would you

But, to rescue someone means that I try to protect them from the consequences of their own choices. That is not my job. If I try to protect someone from the consequences of their own choices I am being co-dependent with them. And, I am not helping them at all. I am probably going to make things worse for them. And, for me.

Sometimes, I admit, it is hard to know the difference.

Since I just read Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, several things she said come into mind.

According to Brene Brown there are three irreducible needs of human beings. Those are:

1) to be seen and loved 
2) to belong 
3) to be brave 

So, my question is, how can I, as a friend, wife, mom, daughter help those within my circle of influence to be seen and loved, to feel like they belong and to help them understand that they are brave? 

Those are things I would do if I can figure out how to do it.

If I'm being a catalyst for any of those three things, I am helping. Not rescuing. I am throwing out that lifeline that says,

"Hey, I see you. I see what you are going through and I care. 

You belong in my world. You belong here. Don't ever think that you don't belong here. Also, you belong in God's family, too. And, He loves you more than you can imagine.

I want you to know that I think you are one of the bravest people I know. I've seen what you've been through. I see what struggles you've had in the past and the struggles that you currently have and only the bravest could survive such struggle. You are brave."

This is what I want to say to those in my inner circles. Those whom God puts in my path.

I fall far short of where I want to be with this. But, this is my heart. 

This is my learning curve with God.

I want to be His mouthpiece, 

and even if it takes all of what I have within me to dare those words out of my mouth, or through a pen down onto paper, I want to use up every last ounce of energy to do it. 

And, you, my friend? I want to say it to you, too.

You are loved.
You belong.
You are brave.

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