Welcome to my second installment on my need to have self-compassion! Two lessons in one week? I wonder Who might be wanting to tell me something??
Monday. I stop in Barnes and Noble parking lot and I think, before I go in, I'll just take care of a couple of phone calls.
I shut the car off, and probably make calls for about 30 minutes. When I go to pull the key out of the ignition and hit the electric lock, NOTHING.
Absolutely no power.
So, I try to start the car. NOTHING. It didn't even turn over! Then, I notice the reason why.
I had sat in the parking lot for at least 30 minutes with my lights still on!!
Another dumb mistake.
After calling my husband to whine and try to decide what to do, I go into Barnes and Noble to look around for a guy that looks like he might have jumper cables in his vehicle and who also looks like he knows how to hook them up.
I have no clue.
I actually am brave enough to approach four different guys and ask them. I am lucky they didn't look at me cross-eyed and think lady, this is a bookstore! What are you thinking?
I was proud of myself for that courage. I actually chose to dare myself into trying this step before asking my husband to drive 45 minutes to come and get me.
I guess no one takes their jumper cables with them when they shop for books, because no one had them.
So, there I was.
I felt pretty embarrassed about this, even with my husband. I had to humble myself and call him back. He said,
"Well, do you want to sit there until 4:30 and wait for me to come after work? Or do you want me to come now?"
So, again, he left work in the middle of the day to come and rescue me.
No harsh words. No judgement. Just grace. And, help in time of need. I love him.
I'm used to being pretty self sufficient. I don't want to "need" anything from anyone. I don't want to put people out. For anything. I don't want to be needy.
But, at times, I need things. I need help. I am not always self-sufficient.
I think God might be holding up a mirror to me, about me. To remind me.
I don't ever want to take for granted the grace and compassion I am shown by others when I need it. Likewise, I want to remember not to be too harsh with myself either.
I can show myself some compassion, and remind myself that I am part of the human race and everyone makes mistakes.
Monday. I stop in Barnes and Noble parking lot and I think, before I go in, I'll just take care of a couple of phone calls.
I shut the car off, and probably make calls for about 30 minutes. When I go to pull the key out of the ignition and hit the electric lock, NOTHING.
Absolutely no power.
So, I try to start the car. NOTHING. It didn't even turn over! Then, I notice the reason why.
I had sat in the parking lot for at least 30 minutes with my lights still on!!
Another dumb mistake.
After calling my husband to whine and try to decide what to do, I go into Barnes and Noble to look around for a guy that looks like he might have jumper cables in his vehicle and who also looks like he knows how to hook them up.
I have no clue.
I actually am brave enough to approach four different guys and ask them. I am lucky they didn't look at me cross-eyed and think lady, this is a bookstore! What are you thinking?
I was proud of myself for that courage. I actually chose to dare myself into trying this step before asking my husband to drive 45 minutes to come and get me.
I guess no one takes their jumper cables with them when they shop for books, because no one had them.
So, there I was.
I felt pretty embarrassed about this, even with my husband. I had to humble myself and call him back. He said,
"Well, do you want to sit there until 4:30 and wait for me to come after work? Or do you want me to come now?"
So, again, he left work in the middle of the day to come and rescue me.
No harsh words. No judgement. Just grace. And, help in time of need. I love him.
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| Kevin in a Washington St. rain forest 2011 |
I'm used to being pretty self sufficient. I don't want to "need" anything from anyone. I don't want to put people out. For anything. I don't want to be needy.
But, at times, I need things. I need help. I am not always self-sufficient.
I think God might be holding up a mirror to me, about me. To remind me.
I don't ever want to take for granted the grace and compassion I am shown by others when I need it. Likewise, I want to remember not to be too harsh with myself either.
I can show myself some compassion, and remind myself that I am part of the human race and everyone makes mistakes.
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