Monday, October 28, 2013

Dare to Be: Shame resilient {Day 28}

I admit it. In the matter of a couple of months, I've become an all-out Brene Brown fan girl. If you've been following along on the 31 Day journey, you already know about me reading her book Daring Greatly.

I am now reading The Gifts of Imperfection. I'm learning things in a workshop and an online Life Class. 

art journal

She said in the online class that she wears jeans all the time because she needs a pocket to carry around her permissions slips in! I love her!

I have been brought to tears by her writings more than once. I think it's because I feel validated. Her research and her writings are validating things that I've been feeling about myself for YEARS. (if I could, I would hug her for this.)

Her research in shame resilience is normalizing shame for me.

What is shame, you ask?

She defines shame as this:

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.
 ~Brene Brown

What does shame feel like, you ask?

Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough. ~B.B.

I am realizing that in several areas in my life I've felt shame. For a long time. And, I'm also realizing that I've felt shame about my shame!! What a mess!

art journal page for online class
I am learning some key things about shame that are changing me and how I think about myself and others in my life profoundly.

1. shame thrives in secrecy and silence

2. shame is universal (everyone feels it)

3. judgement exagerates it (our own and others')

I am learning to be more shame resilient, which means that I'm learning to be courageous in sharing my difficulties with at least one trusted family member or friend. That basically, (in Brene's words) brings shame to its knees.

I'm learning to accept myself and believe that I am worthy of love and belonging even though I am not perfect.

How about you? Do you have someone you can talk to when you feel that warm feeling of shame rising up in you? I hope so. 

Do you accept yourself with all of your imperfections?

Click on my button to see a list of all 31 Days posts. Thanks for visiting today!

This post is part of a 31 Day series on the topic Dare to Be and linking up with about 1500 other bloggers on hundreds of topics. Come on over to The Nester to visit!

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