My sentimentality has created a soul burden.
As I opened the closet door, empty garbage bags in hand ready to fill and take to Goodwill, I wondered (as I've been wondering for months) where to start. It seemed daunting. A goal unreachable. Do I finally get rid of my kids' baby shoes? (my youngest is 19). What about my college notebooks from Swedish class? (I'm 49). Ooo....I might still want to cover that pillow like the ones I saw at Pottery Barn.
And then there are the two boxes still chock full with memorabilia from my Great Aunt Esther. Even though she's long been passed, somehow I got handed her doll dresser from the early 1900's and her high school graduation picture from 1918, among many other things. If I get rid of Aunt Esther's things, all traces of her will vanish from the earth with them. How could I do that? See what my heart goes through when I start to try to clean out? It's utterly exhausting.
I've been realizing what a time and energy consumer my "precious things" have had in my mind and emotions. I am beginning to see all of this stuff differently now. Not sure why. I'm a sentimental collector and at one time had a passion for each item that's crossing my hands as it passes into one of the bags on my floor. What I once saw as "gotta have this", I now see as extra baggage weighing me down. I'm still sorting out the reasons for this.
I'm still as sentimental as they come. But this stuff doesn't have the pull on me that it once did. I'm different than I was just 5 years ago. I do know that with each bag of stuff off-loaded to greener pastures, my vision is clearing. My heart feels that much more ready to take in new terrain. New creativity. New vision. More space to breathe. And think. And dream.
I like it.
I'm going to keep filling bags. I know I'm not where I need to be with this, but I like this new way of seeing "things". It's better. I'm better. I'm grateful for progress.
please see day 1 to see a list of the 31 posts.
As I opened the closet door, empty garbage bags in hand ready to fill and take to Goodwill, I wondered (as I've been wondering for months) where to start. It seemed daunting. A goal unreachable. Do I finally get rid of my kids' baby shoes? (my youngest is 19). What about my college notebooks from Swedish class? (I'm 49). Ooo....I might still want to cover that pillow like the ones I saw at Pottery Barn.
And then there are the two boxes still chock full with memorabilia from my Great Aunt Esther. Even though she's long been passed, somehow I got handed her doll dresser from the early 1900's and her high school graduation picture from 1918, among many other things. If I get rid of Aunt Esther's things, all traces of her will vanish from the earth with them. How could I do that? See what my heart goes through when I start to try to clean out? It's utterly exhausting.
I've been realizing what a time and energy consumer my "precious things" have had in my mind and emotions. I am beginning to see all of this stuff differently now. Not sure why. I'm a sentimental collector and at one time had a passion for each item that's crossing my hands as it passes into one of the bags on my floor. What I once saw as "gotta have this", I now see as extra baggage weighing me down. I'm still sorting out the reasons for this.
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| Aunt Esther and Me |
I like it.
I'm going to keep filling bags. I know I'm not where I need to be with this, but I like this new way of seeing "things". It's better. I'm better. I'm grateful for progress.
please see day 1 to see a list of the 31 posts.
I have a hard time letting things go too. But I love the way you said it, that it creates space to dream, and space to see things differently. I'm sure the reasons will come from Him as you keep opening the spaces up!
ReplyDeletethanks for your thoughts! I'm going to keep "simplifying". :)
ReplyDelete